


Lost And Found

by Charlie9646



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Angst, Auror Draco, Blindness, Dark Magic, Dealing with the reality of divorce, Disability, Divorce, F/M, HEA of sorts, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy Friendship, Kissing, Minor Mystery, Morally Grey Characters, New York City, Not all is what it seems, OC Child Character, Post War, Severus Snape Lives, Severus is still an arse, Sex, Smut, service dog, unspeakable hermione
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:31:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie9646/pseuds/Charlie9646
Summary: Hermione Jean Granger doesn't have the type of life she dreamed of a as teenager she's now divorced, and a unspeakable.She's not exactly what could be called happy, but she loves her children, her friends, and for the most part, enjoys her job. She's accepted this is her reality—until a case sends Severus Snape of all people—crashing back into her life.And he's just got to muck it up doesn't he?
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley
Comments: 44
Kudos: 202





	1. A Case File

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Z for Betaing this for me
> 
> The goal of this was to write a post-war Sevmione story with a disabled character that felt real I hope I achieved that. All chapters are finished, and this will be updated every Friday, to allow for editing.

Today was just like any other day for Hermione Jean Granger. She had to pick up her children from their school. Rose was going to Hogwarts next year, Hugo had just started school this fall. She and Ron were still on friendly terms—as much as two people who had divorced last summer could be.

Things would never be the same again. Not that she wanted them to be, that is. Hermione and Ron were far better friends than they had ever been as a married couple. Some people said opposites attract each other, but in her opinion, you had to have something in common beyond a past, for things to work long term. 

She was not willing to stay married simply because they had children together. It would do them, the children, no good long term. No matter what her former mother-in-law, Molly Weasley said. For once in a long time, Hermione’s life was calm, and she wanted to enjoy that. Ron was dating Pansy Parkinson, of all people, now. She, on the other hand, was happily single. 

Teenage Hermione would have found adult Hermione’s idea of enjoying her evenings drinking wine and reading over her paperwork in silence when her kids were with her father, that is, utterly dull. 

Auror Malfoy, Draco her former classmate, her former bully, now simply the thorn in her side, walked over to her desk and laid a file on it. 

He said, ”Hello, unspeakable Granger, how is your day going?”

She said, ”Good, but have a feeling that's going to change with the file that you just sat on my desk.”

Draco said, ”Well the thing is Hermione the higher-ups think you're the only one for this case.”

Hermione asked him harshly, ”Why me?”

He sighed and said, ”Well most Aurors are bloody horrible at potions.”

She said, ”You're not.”

Draco said, ”I was excluded due to other reasons.”

Hermione said, ”What other reasons?”

He said, ”If you will let me get in a word edgewise I will tell you, Granger.”

She nodded and let him speak.

Draco sat on the corner of her desk, in the way that he always seemed to do. More than likely he only did it because he knew it drove her utterly nuts. He opened the file and handed her a page. 

Hermione read it silently to herself, the person that they were looking for was a potioneer and an expert at that. Very few people living or dead could make this potion. It wasn't exactly dark, but it wasn't exactly light either. Which ruled out some of those who could make it in theory, but were limited by blocks put on their magic by the ministry after the war.

So it wasn't Narcissa Malfoy.

It took a rather long time and careful care, so it wasn't someone as busy as Draco or herself, though she knew she wasn't making it, and the man in front of her was far too busy.

It was a healing potion and they were nearly giving it away, only making a rather small profit. That ruled out tons of dark wizards. 

It tested to be made by the same magic that made the far more shelf-stable Wolfsbane potion, her own department had been trying to figure out where it came from. And then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Hermione thought to herself it could only be one person, but that man was dead. It would be the reason she was requested for the case if they thought it was him. Harry was far too close to Snape, having named one of his sons after the man. Hermione blamed most of that on the fact he had seen large amounts of the man’s memories, which in her opinion had turned Harry soft to the man. Soft to the man who had tried to make his life miserable for six years.

Hermione rarely ever voiced that opinion to her friend all it did was cause them to argue. In all honesty, she was far too old for such things now. She had spent far too many years arguing with her ex-husband, to argue with her closest friend, over things that matter very little when you looked back on it. Until now that is.

Neville was no longer an Auror and even if he was she would never force him, and she would do her best to make sure the department didn't force him to take the case. He unlike Harry, could not forget all that the man had done to them in school because of what he had done at what seemed at the time the end of his life. Ron was far too likely to blow his own top, though he now worked for George at the joke shop, anyway.

The war wiped out a large amount of the Auror department, and it was still very much felt. People who were capable of being objective were now dead. Because they didn't side with Voldemort. Others could easily be ruled out because they tended to lean light or dark. 

So, it left her and Draco. The Malfoy heir was ruled out because of his connection to Severus Snape. The man had saved his life. Done the task that should have killed him and his family for him. The man then protected him during their flight from Hogwarts, and after they went back to Malfoy Manor. He had been one at the mock trial for a dead man over a decade ago professing the dead headmaster’s innocence, right along with Harry of course.

When all the information was run through the wash, it left her. Hermione Jean Granger, mother of two, divorced, unspeakable, former war hero, who honest to Merlin hated fieldwork. It felt a little bit too much like that wretched camping trip Harry, her and her ex-husband went on during the war. And yet she knew she had to do this. She had never been to America before, but the little she had heard about New York City, sounded far bit more like London than a camping trip at least. 

Hermione would get to try some new food, and possibly see some interesting things, but most of all she would get to prove something she felt in the back of her mind for over a decade. She didn't know why or how, but she had always known in the back of her soul that Severus Snape had not died in the shrieking shack. No matter how much anyone tried to insist on the snake had eaten him. Bodies simply don't just disappear, large snake or not.

Hermione tucked everything into the file and shut it. She said after she tucked her hair behind her ear, ”Yes I will take the case, I just need to get things squared away when it comes to my kids.”

Draco said to her, ”Let me know if I can help with that, okay? Rose and Scorpius are about the same age, and I don't mind helping while you're out of town if you need it.”

She wanted to take his offer, Hermione knew Draco was only doing so out of the very kindness of his heart. She knew that Astoria had done her best to try and remove the dark shadow of the war from the manor. Just as Draco had done when it came to the Malfoy family name, but the truth was, you could only put so much lipstick on a pig, and honestly it would always be a pig. 

The manor, and what this relatively kind man’s aunt had done to her there would forever be a shadow over Hermione’s life. The place regularly filled her nightmares. She did not want her children there. If Ron could not do his job as a parent alone, for at most a few weeks then they had extended family they could stay with. 

She rarely talked about such things to anyone, but her mind healer and Harry. Ron decided to lock those memories up and pretend it never happened, that was part of the reason their marriage had ended so terribly. 

He wanted to pretend that what had changed her from a young know it all school girl into a hardened unspeakable, never happened. Hermione was never such one for fairytales and jokes. Happily ever afters had never drawn her in. 

They even at a young age seemed so utterly fake to her. She was no James Potter and jokes seemed like childish escapism to her yet her Hogwarts days. The truth was Hermione was grounded to reality like stone, like a mountain even in their magical world, though sometimes she wished she wasn't.

Ron on the other hand, as soon as life got truly hard at Hogwarts? The idea of going back, and facing the reality of all that had changed? He was gone. Gone to the Auror department, which unlike Harry had never been his dream job in the first place. Then when that became too hard and stressful? He jumped ship barely putting in a two-week notice to go and work for George in his joke shop. 

He seemed to be happy there. Ron was a good salesman. A good employee. It made him happy to brighten people’s days with laughter and to be there to support George, who still seemed rather lost thirteen years later without Fred by his side. Those two fit the definition that twins were split down the middle as embryos right after conception. 

It was if someone had cut George’s left hand off, he was lost adrift in the sea without Fred, though Ron did seem to help some with that.

Hermione said, “Draco, thank you for the offer, but...”

He cut her off and said, “Ronald Weasley needs to buck up and parent his own children?”

She said, “Exactly, and if not they have a rather long list of extended relatives who will help. If I need it though I will let you know?”

Draco smiled at her, but it did not reach his pale blue eyes. 

Hermione said to him, ”Hey when I get back why don't you, Astoria and I set up a playdate or something? Rose wants to learn to fly her broom, and um how do I put this? Harry’s teaching method just isn't working for her, Ron’s always so busy, and I am a piss poor flier at best....” She realized that she was rambling on, but hoped that it would cheer the man up.

He laughed and said, ”I would love to teach her, maybe a little competition will help Scor as well, he's not taking to it like I did for some weird reason. Maybe if she can fly better than him it will give him a reason to try harder.”

Draco left, leaving the file on her desk and all Hermione could think to herself was men, stupid men. Life was far better without them most of the time. Little boys shouldn't need a girl being better than them to try harder, because there was nothing wrong with a girl being better than you. Whatever may be learning from Draco to fly her broom would stop Rose insisting that her mother needed to teach her. 

Hermione had long ago accepted she was never going to win the Quidditch world cup, and that she was a horrid flier anyway. 

************************ 

Hermione Apparated to WWW, George’s shop before picking up the kids from school. She needed to talk to Ron about the fact that she would be out of the country and he was going to have to manage for what could be up to a few weeks alone with the kids. Such a thing should be quite a simple task, but she also didn't want to start a fight. She happened to hate their fights, and she knew he felt the same. But, they always seemed to have them in the last few years, ever since he left the Auror department.

She opened the door slowly, hoping that there was no prank attached to it. Sometimes George did that to give his customers a teaser of what was to come. Most people found them funny but after a while coming to this shop to pick up or drop off the kids, they just ended up getting on her nerves. Fart noises were the last thing anyone wanted to hear after a long day of work, or worse.

Thankfully, this time there was nothing. She wiped her brown boots on the rug in front of the door and stepped inside quickly to shut out the cold. It was January, and there was snow on the ground. And then she heard it. The stupid bloody fart noise.

The shop seemed rather empty so she shouted, ”Still not funny George!”

His quiet laughter filled her ears as he walked down the stairs of the shop. She and Ron might no longer be married. But, between the kids, and how much she had grown to love the family during her childhood, as well as afterwards; they would always be family to her.

He said, ”If it surprised you, then it's still funny. That's kind of the point. So where are two of my favorite people?”

Hermione said, ”Still at school. Though, I need to talk to Ron actually. I am going to be out of town for a case.”

George said, ”Hermione you hate fieldwork, how in Merlin’s name did they wrangle you into doing it?”

She said, ”Well it’s in a place I have had an interest in going to, the case seems right up my alley and it drew me in as soon as I read the first few sentences of the file. Beyond that George, I need to try something new. I am stuck in this rut of sorts. This seems like it might be exactly what I need.”

He said, ”Well whatever it is, Mione, I hope it works out and you're able to set work aside enough to enjoy wherever it is you will be.”

Hermione said, ”Thanks George, but I think just having my questions on this case will bring me enough joy as it is. Do you happen to know where I would be able to find Ron? Like I said I need to talk this over with him.”

George said, ”Right upstairs in the workroom last I saw him. And Hermione, do learn to have a little fun, all work, and no play make for a rather dull life.”

She said, ”Thanks, but honestly George, I like to personally keep my work and play separate.”

He said, ”Well have fun anyway. And hope you solve the case.” 

George gave her a sad smile as she walked up the stairs to find Ron. Hermione did not like to be judged about her life choices. She knew how to have fun, but as she had gotten older, her fun had become simple things. Watching her children play, the holidays, sinking into a hot bath at the end of the day and curling up with a good book. She had enough excitement to last a lifetime during the war, and if she really wanted it, like now, it could be found within her work. 

In her free time, Hermione wanted to relax, forget the past and ignore the present. 

************************ 

Hermione found Ron quite easily, he was leaning over a work table with his back turned to her. He wore a faded flannel shirt she had bought him years ago in muggle London, though she doubted he remembered where it came from. She did though.

That shirt was from the time they that we're happily married. Rose was at most three, Hugo wasn’t even thought of yet. She hated to admit it because at one point in her life she judged people who did this. Hugo, their son, was their last desperate attempt to save their marriage. 

That didn't change the fact that both of them loved their son. He was a wonderful child, a perfect mix of both of them. His shocking red curly hair, his bright brown eyes, his sense of humor, though he had a sharp intelligence that came from her. Unlike Rose who seemed in a lot of ways as some said a mini Hermione, Hugo was clearly half of each of them. 

Their children, both their children, were the only good thing that came out of their marriage. 

Hermione said, ”Hi Ron, I stopped by early before I went to pick up the kids because we need to talk.”

Ron set aside what he was working on and said, ”Well, what is it now?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

She wondered for a second how they had come to this. How they had gone from the best of friends to lovers, to spouses, and then to whatever it was they were now. Time changes people, that's how they ended up like this. 

Hermione sighed and said, ”Pansy and you are going to have to watch the kids full time, for at most a couple of weeks. I am headed out of town for work on a case, and I don't know how long it's exactly going to be. If it's too much I am sure Bill and Fleur would be willing to help, or Percy, or your parents, or even George and Angela.”

He said to her, ”You know they are my kids as well right? Pansy is great with them. Kids are all she has ever wanted, right? It nearly killed her when she found out she couldn't have them. She doesn't want to take your place, but one day soon, Hermione, she's going to be their stepmother.”

She said, ”I know.”

Ron said, ”I am just about done here, I can pick them up from school today myself. They tend to leave enough clothes at my house when they visit we should have enough, if not Pansy has been wanting to take them shopping anyway. 

Be safe, Hermione, wherever it is your going. I know enough about the ministry from my time working there you can't tell me about where you're going or why. But, please let Harry know at least, could you? Just so if something were to happen I can tell the kids what really happened to their mother, and not the stupid glossed over version.”

Hermione said, ”I will, and I will let you know when I am back in town.”

He said, ”Take care of yourself, Hermione, the kids do need their mother and Harry needs his friend.”

She said, ”Take care of yourself Ron” and then she left the shop. Hermione remembered long ago when she would do something like this when it was the rare occasion where the ministry could talk her into it. Back when they had a truly happy marriage, and he would say ”take care of yourself, Hermione, I love you and the kids and I need you.” Merlin better or worse sometimes like now she did truly miss those days.

************************ 

Hermione pulled her head under the water of her clawfoot tub. She couldn't hear anything under the water, not even at times her own thoughts. Fridays were normally her days without the kids unless she wanted to do something with them over the weekend and then she would give up a few of her days during the week to Ron. Even though she was heading out to New York tomorrow, and desperately needed to pack. 

She also wanted to do what she normally did, take a quiet hot bath, with a glass of wine and maybe a book. Without the chance of one of the kids barging in insisting the other was using the hall one and they had to pee. Hermione loved being a mom, but she also loved a break sometimes. 

She pulled herself from under the water and brushed her rat’s nest of curls from her face. She rarely if ever used a warming spell on her bath’s, preferring to allow the cooling water to remind her when it might be time to get out. Maybe it was one of the few remaining parts of her muggle childhood, or maybe it was her fear that she loved the water rather too much to leave it if it never went cold. Though it could just be her mother's warnings when she was a child of people falling asleep in tubs and drowning. 

Her mother was a baby boomer if there had ever been one. Anna Granger was born in 1955. She was stubborn as a mule and as determined as an ox. She protested, stood up for what she believed and had not a drop of fear about voicing her opinions. All which she passed onto her daughter. 

If her mother would have been a witch, Hermione had a feeling Slytherin's house may have had to make an exception to the no muggleborns rule. She had cunning that her daughter never possessed and her husband truly didn't understand. 

She was the businesswoman of the family. Mark Granger was far better at the actual dental work, but Anna ran a tight ship. She was the one that made sure everything was in order. Hermione missed her parents dearly. She knew they were out there, hopefully, living wonderful lives, doing wonderful things. But, the spell that should have been reversible turned out not to be. 

She didn't regret it if she hadn't done it her parents might not be alive now, but that didn't mean she didn't miss them. Hermione hadn't bothered to go looking for them, because it would be far more painful to know exactly how they were doing than it was to wonder. Because wishes and dreams would not play through your mind on repeat during your dreams like facts did. 

The truth was Hermione had far too many nightmares already she had no need or desire to add any more. 

She climbed out of the tub, the water had turned cold. She thought back to memories of her mother, happy ones, as she dressed in soft worn with age sleep clothes. 

Hermione drained the tub, turned on her muggle radio and went to get packing, she had a city she had never been to visit tomorrow. She had a job to do and a ghost from the past. Unlike her parents, Severus Snape likely knew who and when he was. He just needed to be found whether he liked it or not she was going to find the dark wizard who haunted her dreams, likely in the city that never sleeps. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. An Unpleasant Feeling

Hermione sat in the warm cafe in London, Harry sat across from her. His ever ill-fitting glasses slid down his narrow nose. He was in a sense unchanging, the same as he had always been. Rat’s nest of hair ever-so-slightly too long, neither a curl, a wave or exactly straight, it in a sense had a mind of its own, not unlike Harry himself. 

His eyes reminded her rather vaguely of emeralds or never dare she voice it to him, the killing curse. She picked up her mug and took a sip of the still too hot tea. Harry nibbled on a biscuit, and then he spoke, ”Hermione, why did you agree to take this case?”

She said to him, ”Truly?”

He responded, ”You can tell me anything, Hermione, we are like family, like siblings. Nothing would ever change that.”

Hermione looked down at her own small hands and said, ”I have all these years never believed Snape was actually dead. It never sat right with me. I could not believe he would be so utterly stupid.” 

His green eyes widened at her.

Hermione sat the mug down that she forgot she was still holding and then she whispered they were in a muggle restaurant after all, ”Hear me out, Harry. For Merlin’s sake, the man fooled Voldemort of all people. Surely he knew that the man would want to kill him, not Draco. He must have known the man favored using that wretched snake to dispatch people. Why would a potion’s master not be prepared? Why would he not try to stop it?”

Harry chewed on his lip and then spoke, “Because he wanted to die? Because his mission was finished? Because for whatever reason he and Dumbledore planned just that. Hermione, you didn’t see his memories, he’s wanted to die since he was at the very least a teenager, possibly even younger.”

Hermione played with the hair tie around her wrist and then spoke, “Or he didn’t die at all and had a plan that did not involve a bunch of school children who didn’t know one stupid bit about healing.”

Harry said, “Hermione... I feel just as bad as you do about him dying that day, possibly even worse than you do. I forgot about him. It’s my fault he didn’t even get a proper burial.” 

His fist hit the table. Hermione for some odd reason felt the vibrations in her very bones. She did not mean to, but she ended up leaning away from her friend, who may as well have been her brother. 

She said to him, “If I am wrong Harry and this is not him? At least I will have an answer to who is making this potion. Who knows the Ministry might even help him or her make even more of it. But, if it is Severus Snape, we will finally have answers from him, and the closure you can’t seem to admit you need.”

He said, “I think you’re wrong Hermione, we saw him die with our very eyes.”

“And if I am wrong you can tell me I told you so to the very end of time. No matter how many of us view Snape, for better or worse.” Hermione said, her tone soft. ”We owe him a lot. He shaped a large portion of the war, which meant he shaped the world we live in now. But, he did shape his students for the better and worse. Just as all professors and teachers do, for the better and the worse.”

Harry opened his mouth and shut it again. His green eyes flared and then seemed to calm just as quickly. He was no longer the temperamental boy he once was, thought Hermione, this man would not lose his cool simply because someone did not believe him. Or better yet, agree with him. 

He said, “I am shocked that they did not ask me to investigate this case.”

She said to him as she stood to go pay, “Harry..: You were considered and deemed far too close to the situation. Because of how upset you were by his death and Al. 

But, also because sometimes when someone views a person’s memories. At least the very important memories of a person’s life, as you did with Severus, it can change how a person views the other. That is the reason you were ruled out for the case.”

Harry crossed his arms and said to her, “I strongly disagree with that.”

Hermione thought to herself, of course, you do Harry, and that’s exactly why you are even worse for this case than Draco. Because the fact is you are a typical Gryffindor, highly emotional, rarely thinking things out. Rarely looking at things from a logical outlook. 

Draco on the other hand—while he adored Severus Snape—the man had saved his very life, but more importantly, his soul, during the war. The blonde was not emotional. He understood the fact Snape was not going to be thrown in Azkaban, he was not going to be treated like the Lestrange brothers, but he would have to answer for his actions. The same as Draco had done all those years ago, and his mother Narcissa did. 

Snape might have non-harmful things, passive punishments, done to quiet those who may want his blood. Draco had to go into a field of public service, and he also had to volunteer in the wizarding community. Narcissa has the minor blocks on her magic, Hermione would press that not be done to Snape. He was far too invaluable to the wizarding world for such a thing. The good that he was capable of outweighed the bad he was unlikely to ever do. 

The truth is she did not think Severus should get any punishment at all. Besides maybe something the man would likely agree with. That for the rest of his life, never be allowed to teach again. Anyone in their right mind, whether they were one of the man’s few friends or worst enemy would agree which such a ruling. More so if they had been taught by him.

She paid the cashier, a young woman with long blonde hair, for their breakfast. Her name was Grace, she smiled at Hermione and said, ”Have a good day Miss”.

When their fingers touched as she handed Hermione her change, it sent little sparks into the witch’s limbs and lit a fire in her belly. Merlin, she thought that woman, no girl was barely out of secondary school and far too young for her. It had been far too long since she had been close to someone. Held, kissed, or touched. 

One of the issues between herself and Ron was the fact she was bisexual. She had only acted on such feelings once, and now looking back it seemed like a lifetime ago. Hermione had been an awkward fourteen-year-old the day she kissed Hannah, a Hufflepuff, who last she heard married Blaise, Draco’s closest friend.

Ron did not like the idea she was attracted to other people. At least he did not at the end of their marriage. He was looking everywhere and anywhere to see if she was guilty of cheating, but the truth was he had been the one who was cheating. Looking back she did not feel the anger she did at the time, it did not rise up in her belly and make her want to scream. She no longer wanted to throw things at Ronald Weasley, but that surely did not mean she would trust him again. She was no fool. 

Harry walked over to her, wrapped his arms around her and said, ”Hermione be safe, please. There are other things out there that are far more dangerous than Snape. But, if you are and he is alive? I doubt he would be happy to be found. Watch your back, when in doubt walk away. Understand?”

She nodded, Hermione grabbed her luggage and they walked out of the cafe. They made their way to a dark hidden alley. Harry put on a glove and grabbed out the necklace he had been given by the Ministry. He held onto her hand with his other and said, ”Enjoy the city, Hermione, I have heard it's wonderful.”

She nodded then hugged him once more, and she said, ”I love you, Harry, you be safe as well.” Then Hermione grabbed onto the necklace and she felt the unpleasant feeling that she would never get used to.

Harry muttered to himself, ”I sort of hope she finds him, but also hope she does not, for his and her sake. He's likely not even alive though. Surely no one could survive his wounds.” 

Harry walked out into the sunlight and then went about the rest of his day. Desperately trying to keep Severus Snape of all people from his mind. 

************************ 

Hermione landed in a dirty alley, not unlike the one she left in London. But, unlike the one in muggle London, this one smelled vaguely of piss. It overpowered her senses and made her eyes water. Merlin, she thought, bloody Americans must be fucking barking mad.

She pulled her duffle higher on her narrow shoulder and walked out into the light of day. The city was beautiful in its own way, but crowded, that was for sure. She could hear at least four languages being spoken around her in this small corner of the city. The elevated train above her head roared past as if it was some angered dragon. 

It made her jump from the sheer shock. 

Hermione pulled out the map out her purse, she had looked over it quite a few times last night and this morning. It was early evening here, which meant she only had a few hours to make it to the motel she planned on staying at.

She knew enough about subways from her childhood when she and her parents visited London. She found the closest station to her and walked down the flight of stairs. She bought a ticket and read the subway station map. Hermione said “there” under her breath when she found the station closest to the entrance to the magic neighborhood. 

The train pulled up and she grabbed onto a bar to stabilize herself. Three stations, Hermione thought to herself only three stations. She would survive a subway train, she had survived months of the camping trip from hell. She survived a war. She would survive this. 

Hermione could have Apparated, maybe she should have, but the truth is when you don't truly know where you and don't know where you're going you raise your chance of being splinched. And that was the last thing she needed in an unfamiliar city. 

There was no one to save her here, for once in a long time Harry was not an owl away. Draco was not down the hall. Ron was not there if only she could bear the process of reaching out and asking for his help, not that she ever would again do such a thing.

Each time the train stopped people bustled in and out, pushing and shoving in a way no English man or woman would ever dare to do so. Finally, she could be free of this, thought Hermione, she pushed her way through the crowd and bolted up the stairs. 

At last, she could breathe, she took a deep breath and stared at the evening sky. People passed by her as if she was invisible as if she was not even there. Then a man ran into her, he muttered under his breath, ”Nutcase, why are you standing in the middle of the sidewalk?”

Hermione shook her head and the man was gone. She pulled her coat around herself tighter. Her boots hit the cracked sidewalk thumping along at a rhythm that seemed to be connected to her heart. What in the world was wrong with her? Did she leave her bloody mind in England? Forget it, Hermione thought, it did not even matter. Maybe it was simply the magical version of jet lag or something along those lines. 

She found the archway to this city’s version of Diagon alley with ease, but she knew what she was looking for, muggles did not. She tapped the pattern Harry had told her this morning into the bricks. The gateway opened up for her and she stepped through. 

The magical world of this city was just as colorful as the muggle world that surrounded it. She could not help but stare at a woman who laughed to another woman. Her arm was wrapped around someone who Hermione assumed was her girlfriend or friend. They both were dressed in tight muggle jeans, tall leather boots, and leather jackets. Another woman across the stress was wearing a Hijab, she believed that was what the headscarf was called. 

Old men played chess outside a cafe. She was hit with the strong smell of burnt coffee when someone opened the door to said cafe. She scanned her eyes over the shops around her. Hermione needed to find somewhere to get dinner. She saw a hole in the wall a block and half away it was a Korean place?Or maybe it was Thai. 

It had been a long time since Hermione had either, so that is what she decided on. She reached the restaurant with ease. As soon as she stepped inside she knew it was a Korean restaurant. The steaming stew bowls, and the potato pancakes. It smelled heavenly to her. 

A small older woman came up to her and said, ”Hello Miss, have a seat anywhere. Hermione knew what she wanted without even glancing at the menu. She just needed some food and afterward some sleep. Finding Snape could wait till tomorrow. 

************************ 

The next morning Hermione stepped outside of her motel room into the bright sunshine. Next to where she was staying was a bodega or something? That was what the woman who had checked her in last night called it. This magical world felt more, well muggle. It was not that she did not enjoy the fact it felt more muggle. 

For as long as she could remember had pushed for the wizarding world to wake up smell the roses and get with reality. But, this was slightly jarring after nearly two decades mostly in a world that felt as if it was stuck in the Victorian Era. 

English magic folk seemed of the opinion if it was not broken why in the world would they fix it? Americans it seemed were trudging along right with the muggle world. But, it may just be in this city, the city that is never finished, the city that never sleeps.

She pulled out a cigarette and lit it, she never smoked around her children, but when she was alone and worried Hermione did. The habit was something she had picked up during that blasted camping trip. The smoke-filled her lungs and calmed her tumbleweed mind. 

Hermione finished it and then stomped it out with her boot. She had a few leads to follow, but breakfast first. But, she could also ask the owner of the shop if he had ever seen someone who looked a little bit like Snape, surely the man wouldn't be so paranoid to use polyjuice potion if no one had come looking for him in over a decade, would he? 

She was lying to herself through, it was Snape. If anyone was that paranoid, it would be him. Hermione got a coffee and a roll. Her stomach was far too twisted into knots, to eat much anyway. As she paid she asked the man if he knew anyone by the name of Severus Snape?

The man with ebony-colored skin shook his head and said, ”Wasn’t that death seater or something like that who died in that stupid war you English wizards had? The spy? Why are you asking about a man who has been dead for over a decade?”

She shook her head anger bubbling under her skin and said, ”Because he might not be.” 

Hermione knew it in her bones this man knew something. She could just feel it. 

She pulled the only photo the Auror Department was able to find of Severus Snape, it was nearly as old as she was. It was from Minerva, who had been hesitant from what the case notes said, to hand if over. It was from one of his first few years of teaching, a Christmas party of all things. 

The staff was lined up in a row, Dumbledore was wearing royal purple robes, he stood next to a miserable looking Snape. He didn't look a day over twenty-one. During her years as his student, she did not realize just how young he had actually been when he became a professor. Children did not think of their teachers as people, not even her. They were first and foremost, simply professors. 

But, looking back, Severus Snape had given what some people call the best years of your life, to the war, Dumbledore and Hogwarts itself. Such a pity she thought, no wonder why the man seemed so explosive and acted so downright cruel during her schooling. That more than likely had to do with the fact the man would have rather been just about anywhere else.

Hermione handed the photo to the young black man. She stared at it, brown eyes taking every single detail in. He then crossed his arms over his chest, brown eyes filled with an anger she found rather unexpected. Why did this man care that she was looking for Severus Snape? What did the former professor mean to him? 

An older wizard snatched the photo from who looked to be his son’s hands. He said to her, ”Hello my name is Samuel and that's Ben, my son.”

He stared at the image as if he, unlike his son, actually cared to tell her if he knew anyone in the photo. 

Samuel muttered and pointed at Severus in the photo, ”Wait, that man looks a little like Stephen Keene. Though very much younger. That explains it.”

Ben gave both his father and Hermione a look that was filled with so much contempt. If he could have cast a killing curse with only his eyes, they might surely lay dead at this moment. 

Samuel said as he handed her back the photo, ”Please... Understand, Miss, Stephen saved Ben’s life a few years ago. The hospital had sent him home to die, of a disease we had yet to figure out what it was. I simply could not afford more testing, let alone treatment if we found out what was wrong. 

Mr. Keene did the testing to figure out what it was and now still to this day, makes the potions my son needs to live. But, at a price we can afford. I know next to nothing about the war you English Wizarding folks had, but Stephen has done a lot of good for the people of this city. My son is not the only one who will stand shoulder to shoulder with him if you dare to do him any harm.

You will find, Miss, we Americans tend to protect one of our own.”


	3. A Black Dog

Hermione had spoken to multiple people, but all they would say was ”Stephen Keene” was a well-respected member of their community. He may be sullen, cruel and even rude at times, but he was a good man. It reminded her vaguely of what Dumbledore, Minerva and even herself used to say about Snape. He had become a pillar of this community, and it was a jarring realization. Without the war, spying, and teaching hanging over his head—Snape was just like any other wizard—no better or worse than anyone who you may run into on the street. 

Over the years following the war Harry and even Draco, had built a martyr out of the man. While she had made a monster. It might have been because of the fact she despised that the only reason he turned to the light was Harry’s mother. What if Voldemort would not have gone after Lily Evans Potter? She had a feeling that the man would have gone on right on killing. 

No one had a gun to his head and forced him to join the death eaters. It was of his own volition. If it would have been his choice, his change of heart, she might have felt differently. If he would have done it because he realised the wrong that he had done, but that was not the case.

She stood on a street corner, it was late evening and she was tired of spinning her wheels talking to people who wouldn't dare share any useful information with her. Even though she said that she had no desire to harm, Severus or Stephen as he now called himself. Her word it seemed, had no value here. On this street, in this city, in this country, Hermione’s word was about as valuable as a used tissue.

It had not been like that since before the war, long ago it felt like, back when she was a teenager. Her connection to Harry made her someone important in the wizarding world, if not her own actions themselves. It was an unexpected feeling to once again be an outsider. Long ago she had been, the muggleborn, the mudblood. She was an outsider. A red herring. Just as she was now once again.

Just about when it was clear for Hermione to cross she noticed a dog, a rather odd-looking dog, staring at her. Its coat was a sleek black, pricked ears, it's eyes a sharp brown, it wore a leather harness. She had seen something like it before... Wait she knew what it was, it was a guide dog. The man holding the harness handle wore a traditional wizarding cloak. It was as black as midnight. He was tall, he would easily tower over her if they were next to one another. His hair thin but looked as if he had been in a light drizzle. 

His skin had an almost death-like pallor to it. The sight of such a man sent a shiver down her spine, he made her hair stand on end. He reminded her, of Snape. 

Could it be? Hermione thought as she watched him more openly, trying to take every single detail of this man before she made her move. Gone was the man who haunted the halls of Hogwarts as if he were just another ghost, among the many. This blind man was not capable of spying on anyone, now. He was disabled, broken, handicapped, one of the helpless. Did she really want to drag this person, this man, back to England? 

She needed to speak to him, before she made such a drastic decision. 

Hermione turned and crossed the street in Snape’s direction. Sound of her feet hitting the pavement that was only drowned out by the sound of her own heart beating in her ears. This man may not be as dangerous as he once was, but he surely was still dangerous. If he wanted to be found, he would have turned up in these last thirteen years. 

Once she reached the curb she grabbed firmly onto his left arm. 

The man muttered, ”Helen, how many times must I tell you not to grab my left arm? It affects Laura’s ability to guide.”

Hermione said, ”Severus...”

He snarled, ”Who the hell are you? And bloody hell, that is not my name.”

She went to say something about the fact he couldn't lie to her, that she had stared at him for six years of classes, but instead he cut her off giving up on the act, ”So is it, Potter or Weasley? Minerva and I had a bet going.”

Hermione, ”It's neither Snape, I was a Weasley and now I am once again a Granger.”

Severus said, ”I knew it. Potter is just like his father, not looking at what is beyond skin deep.”

She said after she let go of his left arm, ”No I think Harry is far more like his mother, always interested in the prettiest face, but who's to blame him? They are quite happy, though they have gotten far longer than his parents ever will.”

He said, ”Don’t, compare Lily, to that brat.”

Hermione said, ”He's her son, Severus, surely you know he's at least a tiny bit like her.”

He sighed and changed the subject again. She felt slightly as if he was doing that to confuse her, ”So, here to drag me back to England? I am sure some of them still want a piece of me.”

She said, ”In a way, Severus I am, but I want to hear what you have to say first.”

Severus said, “I will as long as you promise not to cause any issue for those who tried to protect me here. Ben, Samuel, Grace, and Marie didn't mean any harm by their actions. They know next to nothing about my past. I tried to make a good life here for myself, to make a new start.”

Hermione said, ”So that is why you made the potions?”

He nodded and then spoke, ”Why don't we go to my apartment? I need to feed Laura and gather my things, if you decide that is, to bring me back to that wretched island.”

She said, ” You're not going to Azkaban, Severus, no matter what.”

Severus said, ”I didn't mean Azkaban, Granger, I meant Britain.”

************************ 

Hermione took off her boots as Severus took off his cloak. She took in the sight of his flat. She had to admit it wasn't all that large. A small living room, a couch, a chair, a dog bed that looked far more comfortable than either thing for humans. A kitchen that was in the same open space, what was to be expected in it and a plain wooden table and chair. 

There were also three shut doors which she assumed were to bedrooms and bathrooms. Severus took Laura’s harness off of her and unclipped her leash. The dog acted as someone flipped a switch in her head. She was off like a rocket running around the room. She found a toy under the couch and proceeded to fling it in the air. 

After a few minutes, Severus said softly but firmly, ”That's enough, Laura.”

The dog stopped dead in her tracks. He said to her, ”Now, it's time for your dinner.” He went to the kitchen and dug out a dog bowl and dished out her food. He sat the bowl next to his feet and said, ”okay”.

The dog came over and went to work on her food. 

Severus said to Hermione, ”Should I go pack mine and Laura’s things?”

Hermione said, ”No, but I do need to hear what you have been up to over these years.”

Severus said, ”I going to have coffee, you can have some or not.”

Hermione thought to herself that sounded like the old Snape, nice to see the near-death experience did not take his snark from him. She said, ”I will have a cup, but I am shocked you don't want tea.”

He muttered, ”I can't find good tea here, it's all in these stupid bags. So, I switched to coffee, it's grown on me.” Severus went over to the counter and started the coffee pot. 

The only sounds that filled the apartment were the coffee maker, even Laura was quiet she was now laying on her bed. The black dog seemed to care about Snape, her eyes would flick between Hermione and him, though they did stay longer on him. Who would have thought Snape liked animals? If you would have told her that while she was in school, she would have laughed. Snape was the type of person to think the only thing animals we're good for was to be chopped up and put into potions.

When the coffee pot shut off having finished brewing, Snape grabbed two plain, though slightly chipped mugs. He rested his finger in the cup as he poured his own and said to Hermione, ”you can pour your own Granger.”

She huffed at him, shocked that he seemed so abrupt, but the man added, ”I don't know how you like it Granger, and beyond that? To tell when to stop with my finger, do you want that in your cup?”

Hermione said, ”No”. Then she started to fix her own coffee she asked him, ”Where is the milk and sugar?”

He said, ”milk is in the fridge and sugar is next to the stove.”

She finished making her coffee and then took her seat on the couch, Snape had already taken the chair. They sat there in total silence. Neither moving a muscle. Hermione was the one to break it she asked him, ”how did you go blind?”

Snape laughed, his tone mocking; this was the angry professor she knew well. The one who took pleasure in his student’s suffering. ”How do you think, Granger?”

Hermione said, ”If I knew I wouldn't have asked.”

He said, ”And to think they call you the brightest witch of your age, and yet can't be bothered to take an educated guess.”

She said, ”Are you going to tell me or not? Or am I wasting my time trying to get answers from you? If you don't answer my questions, Snape I will be forced to drag your bloody ass back to England, under the order of the ministry of magic.”

  
  


”Well that scares the answers right out of me Granger. But, sweetheart I don't have a bloody ass, it's rather flat so I have been told. You know who it sounds like now? Take a wild guess? Huh? Cat got your tongue? Umbridge, and let me tell you something I did not tolerate that pink little toad and I for one will not tolerate you to talk like that to me in my own home.

The ministry of magic has no authority in this country. That's why I choose here of all places, something about losing Grindelwald after they took him and not allowing the Americans to have their rightful piece of him. It doesn’t matter, though, here I am just Stephen Keene the quiet blind wizard who does his best to help the community.

And before you think about running out of my home screaming about the evil death eater that word means next to nothing here. Voldemort means next to nothing here. He like any other dark wizard to them, his name holds no power. He had no plans to try and force this country to its knees, he knew it was far too large to.”

Hermione asked him, “Then why in the world did you invite me into your home?”

Severus answered, “Because like you, I am curious, very little information trickles over from Britain to the states, wizarding at least. I like you want information. I taught you, Granger, I know how much you crave to know everything about utterly everything. That's likely the only reason you went looking for me. Not because you believe I need to be dragged back to England and brought to trial, surely Potter shared my memories with you, but because you had to know what was true and what was not.”

She said, ”He told me about your memories, but he didn't share them with me. He didn't share them with anyone. When they, the ministry, wanted information he submitted to questioning over sharing them. I think it's because they are the only real information he has about his mother.”

Severus said, ”How many times has he watched then? How many times?”

Hermione answered, ”I don't know, many surely, though I believe he skips over most of it just watching the happy parts with his mother...”

Severus said, ”Dammit all to hell! Of course, a Potter would be that stupid.”

She said, ”What do you even mean? And of the love of Merlin don't call me Granger! I am no longer your student and I don't like being treated like one! Call me Hermione it's my bloody name.”

He said, ”Hermione, memories, more so other people’s memories can drag you in. You can become lost in them... Sometimes you don't want to leave them. Humans, even magic folk weren't meant to watch memories over and over again. You must and I repeat must make Potter give you those memories and either destroy them or keep them away from him. Who knows how they have affected him over the years. Long term and short term.”

Hermione said, ”Why didn't you tell him that?!”

Severus said, ”I was rather quite busy you know, dying.”

She said, ”Speaking of which, how in the world did you even survive?”

He said one word, ”Narcissa.”

Hermione said, ”You made a deal with her didn't you? Beyond you saving Draco?”

Severus snapped, ”Course, do I seem stupid to you?”

She said, ”But... You couldn't have told her what side you were on... She was a liability... She could have ruined everything to simply save your life?”

He said, ”Now Ms. Granger do I look stupid to you? Do I look like some sort of fool? I killed my mentor, my friend, one of the only people who believed in me, ever, for that stupid war. Do you think I would sacrifice that for my life? I allowed monsters to torture children Ms. Granger in the name of the greater good. If you know anything about my memories, Ms. Granger, you know I have rather little value for my own life.”

Hermione said, ”Then how did you make the deal?”

Severus said, ”I simply explained to her why the dark lord wanted Draco to be the one to kill Dumbledore. That if the elder wand did not accept him as it's master, the dark lord would go after the man who had taken Dumbledore’s life. That more than likely that would be me. But, if her son got up the courage, the escape plan would be for him. 

As it stands you and I both know Draco was not capable of killing. That man may have been an utter brat as a boy, but he is no killer.”

”He's an Auror now.”

His eyes widened in shock, ”Really? I never expected such a thing. What do you know, a Malfoy who actually has a job? I never thought I would see the day. Still would bet you anything he's never killed anyone though.”

She said, ”He hasn't”.

Severus said, ”That boy doesn't have the stomach for it. At least Potter can and will if he must.”

Hermione said in shock, ”You think it's a bad thing that Draco is incapable of killing?!”

He said, ”Hermione, sometimes good people and typical people have to do bad things. It's a part of life. It's a part of war. It's part of the very fabric of our reality. It just is. Malfoys it seems rarely have the stomach for it though. Even to save themselves or someone else.”

She asked him bluntly, ”Severus why don't you want to come back to England?”

Severus said, ”Because, Hermione, people love dead martyrs, it's far harder to invite a monster out to dinner.”

Hermione said, ”Severus... You're not a monster. You're a hero to the wizarding world. Harry named one of his sons after you. Well, you and Albus.”

His rather large nostrils flared, and he said, ”He did WHAT?!”

She said, ”His son is named Albus Severus, but everyone calls him Al.”

”Merlin, help us all.” He muttered, ”I need something stronger if you're going to keep dumping information like that on me with no warning.”

Severus stood and retrieved from his cabinet a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. He asked her, ”Would you like some?”

Hermione nodded without thought.

He responded, ”Yes or no? Blind remember? I need you to use your voice.”

She said, ”Yes.”

He brought the bottle and glasses over. Then said, “Hold that thought, I have to take Laura out.”

Within seconds the dog was harnessed, and they made their way outside. 

Hermione said, ”How do I know you're not going to run off?”

Severus said, ”Because, Hermione Granger, I have no reason to run. You have no power in this country, and this is my apartment. Beyond that, if I wanted it to be the wards could toss you out on your ass.” With that, he was put the door to take the dog out. 

Hermione stood up from the couch and went to test the doors, the one that was a restroom which she made note of to claim that she was looking for it if she was caught by him. She shut the door, the next was his lab, it looked like any other lab, nothing illegal, nothing out of place. She stepped out and shut the door behind.

Then she found what must be Snape’s bedroom. Inside the room was a four-poster bed, with white blankets and sheets, two nightstands next to the bed in the same dark wood as the bed frame. On one nightstand was a photo of Snape and Hispanic looking woman. He was in a muggle suit, his hair tied back. A pale-faced German Shepherd sat in a harness in front of him. She, the woman, wore a simple white wedding gown. 

The preacher or priest was the only one looking at the camera. They looked happy, Hermione wondered where this woman was, whether she was a muggle or a witch, surely someone like Snape wouldn't marry a muggle, would he? The man had been a death eater, for Merlin’s sakes.

The next photo was of the same dog with the pale face in his harness in front of some bushes. The dog’s eyes were a warm brown. His expression sharp, if a dog was truly like Snape, it was that one. 

She looked over at the other nightstand on it was a photo of Albus Dumbledore this one was wizarding, unlike the other two, he stood there in his shiny silver robes, smiling. It broke her heart to look at it. The memory of the man still painfully sharp in her mind. 

The next was wizarding again, a young Severus she assumed stood next to Lily Evans both in their Hogwarts robes, smiling. Hers looked far newer than his though they both looked about thirteen. Lily looked like the girls who use to mock Hermione in muggle primary school, while Snape well the poor kid wasn't blessed with good looks any more than she had been. She thought there was something that there were hints of what would draw you in when he was an adult, but that had never really been his looks. 

He held your attention, better or for worse once he opened his mouth. The way he spoke, the way he acted, that's what made the man interesting. But, try telling that teenager and no good will come of it. Her own mother had tried her very hardest to that with Hermione herself, and it was as useless as trying to use cupped hands to move water. 

The next was another muggle photo of what she assumed was Severus’s mother. The woman reminded her vaguely of the man. The sharpness of her features, her pale skin, black calculating eyes, and the straight as a board basically lank hair. She couldn't tell if it had a slightly greasy shine to it, but she would bet anything it did. Eileen Prince was a rather homely woman, but so Hermione thought, was she. 

She felt a dog’s nose on her shoulder, it caused her to jump. 

Snape muttered, ”Good job, Laura, that's my girl.”

Hermione asked, ”Must you do something like that?”

He said, ”Says the woman who was snooping.”

She said, ”I was not! I was looking for the loo.”

Severus said, “Sure you were, everyone has a toilet in their photos, and even if they did it’s not the kind you can use. If you were wondering, it's the first door closest to the couch. But, Hermione, just fess up, I was not born yesterday.”

Hermione said, “Yes I was snooping. Now, who's that woman in that wedding photo with you?”

He said, “That’s Elaina, and I need a drink before I will speak about her.”

She said, “Was she a muggle or witch?”

Severus said, “Like I said Hermione, let me have a drink and then I will tell you. Though it may take all night it’s a rather long story.”

Hermione said, “Well it’s not like I have anywhere else to be.” She then followed him back into the living room to have drinks and hear what the man had to say.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. She Changed Me

Severus poured them each a glass of whiskey. Laura now laid against his feet. Hermione wondered why he allowed the dog to do such a thing, part of her questioned if Snape even realised he was stroking the dog’s head. He seemed to care for that dog more than he had in her years of knowing him.

He took a sip of his drink and then spoke, “Elaina and I met right after I came to the city, she was a squib. Narcissa’s spell didn’t work exactly as she wanted it to, and I was bleeding out in the subway. Somehow, someway she got me to the wizarding hospital. She ended up sitting by my bedside for nearly the whole three days. When I woke up I realized I couldn't see very much at all. 

I didn't know where I was or how I got there. She decided to help me. She took me under her wings of sorts. She helped me navigate the magical world as much as she could, but due to my disability, my blindness I also needed to accept help from the muggle world. She was the reason, well her pushing was the reason I ended up with Royal. Who was my first guide dog.

It didn't start out as a romantic relationship. I wasn't looking for one and honestly neither was she. Elaina had just finished law school. She got this big job in the twin towers.”

Hermione knew about those things, about that building, about what happened. She asked him, ”Did she die?”

Severus said not looking at her, not showing her any of the emotion on his face, ”Please, let me finish.”

Hermione said, ”Okay.”

He continued, ”It took a good six months for me to adapt to being well, blind. Quicker than most, but to me, it felt like a lifetime. I was honest with her about my past. Maybe that was odd to some, but I have lied to many people, but I could not lie to her. It was just something about her. 

It took me about the same amount of time to realize I was falling in love with her. She was far too good for me. I was lucky with how quickly I got Royal from his and Laura’s program, for some reason within three months I was in training with him. Then I graduated. Within a week Elaina had asked me out to dinner, I insisted to myself it wasn't a date. But it was.

A few months later I asked her to marry me. We had just under two happy years together.”

Laura whined loudly shoving her head into his lap, he muttered, ”It’s okay girl, no need to worry.”

”I was supposed to be there that day. I could have saved her.”

Hermione said, ”It's not your fault. You weren't the one who decided to fly the planes into those towers. Sometimes bad things happen, Severus, and there is nothing we can do about it.”

She didn't know how much he had to drink. She thought he was at least tipsy possibly even drunk. Snape wouldn't be this honest with anyone, ever, if he wasn't. It simply was not part of his nature to show people what he felt. To wear his heart on his sleeve. In all likelihood, the only reason he was telling her what he felt was the whiskey made the old wound of loss seem closer to the surface. Like he had to share it. 

For all she knew, Hermione knew now more about Severus Tobias Snape than anyone alive. But, his wife, his dead wife likely had to know more about the man than anyone ever had, living or dead. 

Severus snarled, ”If I would have been there I could of Aparated us away. I could have saved her. But, Royal was sick, so I didn't go into visit her at her office like we had planned. I was supposed to bring breakfast. I was supposed to be there.”

She said, ”Severus, you would have just splinced you both. You are blind, you don't know what this city really looks like. You could have ended up Apparating you both to the bottom of the Hudson River.”

He said, ”Better off splinced then dead.”

Hermione said, ”Or worse you would have ended up trying to Aparate back to England, and ended up with a totally drained core. You would have died.”

Severus got into her face and snarled, she could smell the whiskey on his breath. He was good and drunk now, ”That would have been better than her being dead!”

She pushed him away and then said, ”Severus, you still just as you did all those years ago think your life has no value, don't you?”

He said, ”It doesn't. My value is what I can do. Who I can save. The difference I can make in their memories.”

Hermione said, ”What about what you can do for yourself?”

Severus laughed, a harsh nasty mocking sound filled Hermione’s ears. He said, ”If all I did was think about myself, Hermione Jean Granger, I would have killed myself as soon as I found out she was dead. 

I don't know how I can explain this to you more clearly, Granger. I don't give a flying Fuck about what happens to myself. I have no value. No worth. I am a worthless piece of shit. Everything I touch ends up dead. Everything. Twice now it has happened, so please Granger drag me back to England so they can kill me like the Death Eater I once was. 

The world will be a better place without me. The blind washed-up wizard has been Death Eater, the man who killed Dumbledore, the Spy, the traitor, and most of all the man who couldn't save either woman he loved in his life. I deserve death, Granger.” His whiskey glass clattered to the floor, though it did not break.

Hermione took a big huge sip of her own glass of whiskey, then another, and one more for good measure. She wanted, no she needed for it to drown out his words. She wanted to yank the memories out of her mind, walk out of this apartment, out of this city and never look back. 

But, Hermione, thought,  _ wouldn't she be giving exactly what he wanted? _ Allow Severus to drown in his pain, in this apartment, in this city, in this country. Maybe his goal was to hurt her heart and to send her running. 

Hermione said, ”Severus, I am not going to drag you to your death. No one wants your death, besides maybe yourself that is. Elaina would want you to live.”

Severus said, ”You never met her, Granger, you do not know what Elaina would want!”

”I may not have ever met her, but I do understand this, the woman who sat by the bedside of a total stranger who she did not know? Would not want the man who she loves to die because of her death.”

He sighed and said, ”You have a point. Why did you come here, Granger? Why did you go looking for me?”

She said with sheer honesty the whiskey muddling her own mind and making her too honest, ”Because I think I am just as broken as you are.”

Severus said, ”Aren’t we a pair?” And then he laughed. ”It’s rather late, Hermione.”

Hermione said, ”Should I be going then?”

”Or you could stay here? Honestly, I think both of us are rather drunk and the last thing you need is to get lost in a city you don’t know, drunk. Even if I was not plastered myself, I doubt you could even tell me where your motel room is. But that is a moot point. You can sleep on the couch, and transfigure it into something more comfortable.”

Hermione didn't know how she felt about the way Severus seemed to flop between acting utterly insane to normal back to just downright a Looney Tune. But, the truth she had to admit was, she was not anymore sane than he was. As much as she would try to deny such a fact. They made a pair, didn't they? The man with the two lost loves, one a woman who would not give him the time of day, and the other a dead lover. 

She, on the other hand, was the woman who could not keep her man interested. Or so Ginny had said one night after too many drinks. Hermione was not the comforting figure of someone who was a younger version of Molly, but she was also not someone who had much interest in being anything close to what was considered a ”good” wife. That was far too boring for her inquisitive mind’s nature. 

Ron felt more like her roommate, or when their marriage was at their worst, a reminder of all that she seemed to fail at. Neither of which would make anyone want to come home and fuck. Sometimes with their dismal sex life, she wondered even how they ended up having two kids. 

It wasn't that she didn't like sex, no she loved it. Loved the closeness that came with it, but by the end of her marriage she wanted to have it without anyone but Ronald Weasley, maybe that fact made her a horrible person. Though Hermione was sure she was not the only woman to ever feel like that, even if no one ever spoke the words.

Hermione was snapped from her strange thoughts when Severus stood and went to his bedroom, for a second Hermione wondered if he was just going to go to bed for the night and leave her in the sitting room with only her bizarre thoughts. But, instead, he came out and handed her a pair of flannel sleep pants and a shirt. 

He said, “I don’t have anything in your size, but the drawstring on these can be tightened and the legs rolled up.”

When he left to do what she assumed was get ready for bed himself all Hermione could think was what a very strange man and a very strange night. She changed into the borrowed clothes and then watched as the dog nosed at Snape’s bedroom door, and went into the room after him. 

She had learned so much, but also so little about the man. Her question never answered, but instead the ones she really wanted to ask, “Severus, what in the world have you being doing all these years?”

************************

Hermione was startled awake by the sound of a kettle whistle. Neither of the kids knew how to use the kettle. She lived with no one else. 

She muttered, ”What in Merlin’s name?”

Severus said, ”Granger, tea is better for a hangover, even if it isn't all that good of tea.”

Hermione said, ”Huh?”

He said, ”Go take a shower; it will wake you up; breakfast will be ready when you're finished.”

”I don't have any clean clothes?”

Severus said, ”You're a rather horrid witch Granger you know that, but never mind, I already spelled your clothes clean. We are going to have a busy day today. If I am to tell you my life story you're going to join me on the things I need to do.”

She just shook her head, grabbed her clothes off the coffee table and then somehow managed to trip over the too big sleep pants. Hermione snarled, drinking last night of seemed like such a good idea, but at the moment it seemed like the worst she had ever made. She quickly made her way the loo and turned on the hot water. She undressed and then stepped under the hot spray. 

For a few minutes, she was able to forget all about bloody Severus Snape and all that was outside of the hot shower. She stumbled around looking for shampoo and found it. It was not like Ron used the three for one. With its odd smell that slightly stung her nose. 

Severus smelled like aloe and eucalyptus, like potions, not unexpected considering who the man was. She washed her hair and did the same with her body with the bar of soap.

She rinsed off and dried off. She then got dressed in her cleaned clothes from yesterday. Hermione washed her face in the sink. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her wild curls stuck straight out, her brown eyes were bloodshot, her skin was pale and even sickly looking. Hermione felt and looked like death, Merlin, she should not have drank so much whiskey, she should of kept her head instead of falling into the trap that Snape seemed to set. 

He was the former spy, the man who lied to one of the deadliest wizards who ever existed. And more so Severus Snape had lived to tell the tale. Not many people could say that. But, the truth was the man was a Slytherin, and she could not forget such a fact. Something that she had learned over her years as an unspeakable, it takes a monster to kill another monster. Innocent people don't like getting their hands dirty in such a way. Gryffindors want to fight in an ethical way, but the truth is that doesn't always win wars.

Dumbledore claimed that Severus had been acting like a Gryffindor, but the truth was during the end of the war Albus had been acting like a Slytherin. Maybe that was why Harry had been able to defeat him. No, that was wrong, her friend was a Gryffindor if anyone had ever been one. The reason why he had won the war was because of those he had around him to support him and help him. 

She gave up on such thoughts about what happened in the past. It did not matter what had happened. What she could do was take a step towards the future, she could try her best to understand what Snape had done during his time in this country and then try to convince him to come back to the land of his birth, England. The wizarding world needed answers, not his blood. No matter how much the man wanted to it seemed to seek death, and downright ask for it.

Hermione tried desperately to use a spell to tame her wild curls with a spell, but had quickly given up and tied it back in a ponytail. She stepped out of the loo and slowly walked into the kitchen. She was faced with a Snape, who was borderline downright cheerful, as much as the man could be. 

He handed her a cup of tea, and she took a sip of it. 

Severus said to her, ”It has a hangover reliever in it.”

Hermione narrowed her brown eyes at him and said, ”You should not dose a person’s drink without their consent.”

He laughed at her and said, ”And you are no fool, Granger. I believe you were called the brightest witch of your age. I doubt you did not know what was in it the moment you put it to your lips.”

She muttered, ”You still should have mentioned it, Snape.”

Severus said, ”I should have, but I did not. Now, would you like breakfast before we go and run my errands?”

Hermione nodded and said, ”Yes I would like some breakfast.”

He nodded and pointed to the kitchen table as if to tell her to take a seat. Which she did. Severus sat in front of her a plate, on it was toast, eggs, bacon, and tomatoes. He then took his seat across from her with his own plate. Neither said anything, but simply dug in. 

Hermione stared at Severus, his hair was not greasy at the moment. It hung behind his pale ears in a silky sheet. It reminded her of black silk. His skin was pale and clear. His eyes were sharp and had a rather expected intelligence. You call Snape many things, but a fool was not one. 

She asked him, ”What do we have to do today?”

He took a sip of his tea and then said, ”Well first off I have to drop off some potions to some clients, then I must visit with a few clients and check on how they are doing. Then I must pick up some ingredients, and lastly, I plan to show you a little bit around this city, and show you why I don't want to leave it. Then we should go and pick up your things from your motel. I am assuming if you grow tired of me today, you will be leaving tomorrow, no sense in keeping the motel room for that. But, if I can convince you to help me with the potion I am working on you would need to be here anyway.”

Hermione said, ”Why do you want or need my help?”

Severus laughed and said, ”Because Granger, to make this potion you need proper working eyes, which I now lack. Beyond that? You as much I still believe you are very much a little know it all, you were one of my best students, though you seemed to have never learned to keep your mouth shut. You never learned to keep the things that matter to you close to your heart and out of the ears of your enemies. 

But, what else is to be expected? You are a Gryffindor after all. That, however, does not change that we're one of the brightest witches of your age. Your behaviors as my student do not change the fact that you can help me make this potion. Your stupidity is your folly, but it is also the reason you will help me. Or at least I think that it will.”

She snarled, ”You praise on the same breath you tear me down, Snape. Why in the world would I help you?”

He said, ”Granger... Hermione the reason why you will help me has nothing to do with me, but with the person I am trying to help. The reason why I am making the potion that led you to me is to save the life of a child.”

Hermione said, ”Why were you selling it then? If that was to help a child? You would not sell the thing that could help them.”

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and then said, ”I was selling that potion to be able to make enough money to research the actual cure. That potion was just a means to the end. Not the actual cure itself.”

She said, ”What is wrong with the child? Why can't they get help from the conventional medical system? Why are you the only one wanting to help them?”

He said, ”Because the family is poor and the child is a Maledictus, and most people consider the act of trying to save her a lost cause.”

Hermione said, ”Fine, I will help you, but you must tell me why this child means so much to you.”

Severus said as he picked up his cup of tea, ”Because... She's - my - daughter.”

Hermione snapped, ”Just a bucket full of secrets aren't you, Snape?”

He said nothing. 

Snape would always be a Slytherin in it for himself and those he cared for. He was not one to stick his neck out for people who he did not already care for. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. A Daughter Of A Snake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologise for being a day lock down has messed with my head. And working on something with a deadline hasn't helped either.
> 
> Enjoy. We are coming close to the end now. And for those wondering it will be HEA.

Hermione Granger followed after Severus Snape. He wore a heavy wool black cloak that billowed in the crisp wind that went straight to her bones. It sent a shiver up her spine. The cold and the fact this man could not be forgotten that he was once the professor who left her quaking in her boots, though he did that to all but his Slytherin students. 

She wondered how much of it was an act and how much it was his real personality. How much was it was him performing a role for the students of his house and therefore his fellow death eaters? Surely he could not be that monstrous, could he? Laura stopped at the curb and Snape along with her. The guide dog team seemed to stop on a knut. Hermione nearly ran headlong straight into his back. 

Severus muttered, ”If I didn't know any better, I would think you're the blind one.”

Hermione brushed herself off and muttered, ”Well most people don't stop dead in their tracks at curbs, now do they?”

He said, ”Blind people do. Imagine if we did not live in the muggle world. I can't see what's coming, so I must stop and listen. Imagine if I did sighted people do in either world, I would cause many car accidents. But, you are a Gryffindor, you would likely cause accidents for just the hell of it.”

She laughed, ”I would not, but now I see your point. Now, how much further is it?”

Severus said, ”Two more blocks, then a left turn.”

She nodded and then said, ”Let’s get on with it, then, it's clear.”

He cursed under his breath and said, ”I hear something, I think. I will go when I feel like it.”

Hermione rolled her eyes and then crossed her arms over her chest, muttering about silly little Slytherins. She wondered if he could hear her, and that's why he was taking his sweet time. So, she shut her mouth, and shockingly Snape quietly told the German Shepherd ”Laura, Forward.”

The black dog plunged forward into the street crossing. Hermione could swear, the dog’s ears and eyes we're keeping track of all that was around them. That the dog clearly enjoyed her job, but also that she was quite good at it. 

The team together like one unit, they vaguely reminded her of a Quidditch player on a broom. They were making movements with the thought of the one that they would have to make next. Or better yet they reminded her horses and jockeys on a racetrack, which her father had taken to her to as a child. She remembered staring at beasts and men becoming nearly one. Long ago, she wished to be a jockey, but considering how much she hated broomsticks, and they did not have minds of their own? 

Maybe it was best that she became an unspeakable, surely safer for herself at least, and possibly for others. Hermione for better or for worse had never been an athlete; she was the epitome of the smart girl, the nerd, the bookworm and all that it meant during her childhood. She grew up in the nineties, and that was grounded in the sense of the smart girl trope. Not, that she minded such a characterisation. There was nothing wrong with being smart. There was nothing wrong with being intelligent. There was nothing wrong with not being the prettiest witch in the room. 

She was no Astoria Greengrass, and that was perfectly fine and dandy, to her at least. 

Hermione rarely admitted the fact was if she had not met Harry and Ron, therefore became friends with them after the troll incident, she would have kept her head down. When the war started, she may have joined her parents in Australia—hiding away from the death eaters in plain sight in a way. She would have become something that death eaters as a whole would never consider looking for, something that would have never crossed their mind’s a muggle.

But, the fact stood that she had become friends with Ron and Harry during her first year. They had become like her siblings, her brothers that she had never had. Her parents and her had never regained their memories, she had found them after she had graduated Hogwarts, and yet she could not reverse the spell. Maybe that had been for the best. Maybe it meant the next time a madman in the wizarding world rose to power her muggle parents would never be even on their radar as targets. 

But, because of such a fact, she had not a single blood relative, beyond her children, she could go to. So, in a sense, Harry and the Weasleys as a whole became her family. And those two because of Harry’s marriage to Ginny were quilted together. Maybe that was why it was so heartbreaking, earth-shattering, and soul-destroying when Ron cheated on her. Because not only had her husband cheated on her with of all people Pansy fucking Parkinson, but he made their family, their extended family, nearly have to choose a side to stick with.

Much to her shock, even though Molly had never considered her a proper wife, the red-haired woman hated her new daughter in law for more. Harry refused outright to pick a side, not willing to lose either friend he considered family. The rest of the Weasleys felt mostly the same, Hermione would always be family, and Pansy it seemed now too was family. It was best that way, Hermione thought, looking back. She snapped out her thoughts rather abruptly.

Snape stopped in front of a doorway; the dog showed him the first step by putting her small black paws on the step. He scratched the dog’s, from the look of it, soft velvet ears, and said softly, ”Good girl Laura, that's a good job.”

Hermione said, ”You really love that dog, don't you?”

He muttered, ”Of course I love her, she does her job well, she is loyal, and how could I not? This dog is as cunning as a Slytherin, as intelligent as a Ravenclaw, as loyal as a Hufflepuff, and as foolishly brave as a Gryffindor. How could I not love her? How could I not love a dog who happily puts her life on the line for me regularly? She's closer to me than my own left hand. She is my eyes, or better yet, my left hand.”

She said, ”She sounds like a rather special dog.”

Severus said, ”She is. Now, we have many places to be, and this is only our first stop.”

Hermione sighed as they climbed up the steps, Snape could not show her any sort of emotion without deflecting it right off, but that was not much better than she behaved, as much as she hated to admit it. She too deflected off the care of Draco, Harry and assumed Ron was incapable of being a decent parent. Hermione thought Pansy wanted to steal her children, knowing that it was illogical to behave in such a way, and even being able to see the reflection of her own behaviors in Snape? Meant a lot, but it did not mean that she was capable of stopping such behaviors. 

Knowing what you are doing, and stopping are two very different things.

*************************

Snape had dragged Hermione to far too many places to count. She saw him treat elderly grandmothers with kindness she did not think he was capable of. She saw him joke as much as Severus could with the children he was treating, she saw him laugh with housewives and shop workers. 

Severus Tobias Snape truly seemed to enjoy helping people. He took an interest in their lives. The small smiles he wore rarely reached his black unfocused eyes blind eyes, but he did seem far happier than he ever had when he was teaching, or at least during her school years. 

He bought ingredients and the shop owner, a witch with ash-blonde hair and bright blue eyes, greeted the potion’s master like he was an old friend. She said to Hermione, ”So you have been the talk of the town Miss, looking for our Stephen, but it seems you are a friend of his after all.”

Severus muttered, ”I wouldn't call her a friend...”

The overweight woman said, ”Now, Stephen... Elaina has been dead for nearly a decade. It's time for the boy to move on, and Leah needs a mother. That child being raised by her grandparents. With her disease, it's unknown how long she will even be human, surely she would be happy to be with you and a woman who could be her mother.”

Severus now very much looked the former death eater he was, his body became rigid, his back straightened, the skin around his eyes tightened and he snarled, ”Hannah, do not speak of things you nothing about! That girl... She is my former student. And Leah? She's not going to turn into a monster, she's not going to become an animal. She's going to grow up and be like anyone else. That's all that matters. Nothing else.”

Hannah said, ”Here’s your order Stephen, but while you search for the impossible the clock keeps moving. I would bet you anything Leah would rather live with her father during the time she has left then to grow up with him working on something that might save her.”

Snape narrowed his eyes at her, ”My daughter will live long after I am gone if I have anything to say about it.” 

”Have a good day Stephen, student or not that woman seems to care for you.” She said to him. ”Didn't you tell me once anyway, that you started teaching when you were only nineteen? Even so, once you reach twenty-five or so, age is just but a number.”

He said to her, ”Good day, Hannah, and unfortunately, most of the world disagrees with you. Muggle and wizarding. Granger is far too loud-mouthed for my taste anyway.”

Severus and Laura then stalked out of the shop like some long-limbed half-dog half-man creature. Hermione shrugged her shoulders at the woman and said, ”He's just as big of a piece of work as I have assumed isn't he?”

Hannah said, ”Yep, but he's also worth his weight in gold when it comes to men at least.”

Hermione said, ”I am not interested, in anything with him.”

Hannah said, ”Sure, lass.”

Hermione said, ” You're from Scotland?”

Hannah said, ”Yes, but I have been here since I was about six, not gonna tell ya how long that has been though, a lady doesn't tell anyone her age, even if she's another lady. But, you should give that stubborn goat of a man a chance, once you get past that layer of stupidity he's worth it. You went to Hogwarts, didn't ya?”

Hermione said, ”Yes I did. And if you say so, I am just here for... I don't know anymore.”

Severus stuck his head back in the shop and shouted, ”Granger stop talking like some group of hens with Hannah, she enjoys gossip about as much as Ms. Brown use to.”

Hannah said, ”Go on lass, he's like a king snake, no action but a lot of noise. Now Stephen, why didn't you tell me you taught at Hogwarts?”

Hermione said, ”I would call him more of a rattlesnake myself, have a good day though.”

Severus said to Hannah, ”Because I didn't teach at Hogwarts.”

Hannah said, ”Whatever Keene, keep telling that story. No one cares who you were in the past, what matters is who you are now.”

Severus said, ”If that's the case, why does it matter? All I am is Stephen Keene, and that's all that matters.”

Hermione followed the dog and man out of the shop, shaking her head at the rather odd conversation she just had. 

Severus muttered, ”Granger... Is your goal to make it where I cannot shop there anymore? Why not just shout my name from the rooftops, it might make things far easier than telling person by person, wouldn't it?”

Hermione shook her head and said, ”No Stephen, that's not my goal. Now, let's get to where we have to go, my feet hurt from all this bloody walking.”

Severus laughed, ”This Ms. Granger is barely what I normally do during half a normal day. Your desk job as an unspeakable has made you quite soft.”

Hermione thought to herself, have I ever even told him that I am an unspeakable? She shook her head, she must of. 

**********************

Hermione stood shocked as a little girl about the same age as Rose ran straight at Snape. Her hair was jet black, though far more coarse than his was, it was also wavy, her skin was pale like his own, but was warm while his was cool. Her eyes were a striking dark brown nearly black. 

The child shouted, ”Daddy, you promised me you would visit more often.”

Severus said, ”I had to work more on the potion Leah, but I might have found someone who will be able to help me. Her name is Hermione.”

Leah said, ”That's a woman in a play.”

Hermione said, ”It is, my parents were quite the bookworms, of sorts, but so am I.”

Leah said, ”My mom loved history or at least that's what Daddy, grandma, and grandpa told me. She named me Leah Theodora. Leah is Hebrew like her own name, but Theodora is Roman-like Daddy's name.”

Hermione said, ”Theodora means gift or gift from God and Leah means...”

Severus said, ”Leah means weary, Elaina thought it was fitting considering my own name means stern.”

An old woman with thin wispy salt and pepper hair came over to Severus and said, ”What does this woman know you as?”

He said, ”Maria, she is from England and knew me during the war.”

The old woman said, ”Good, I do not understand why you must use that silly name, Severus, Stephen is so utterly muggle.”

Hermione said, ”Wait if Leah has that curse, and Elaina was a squib, Maria why aren't you...”

Maria said, ”An animal?”

Severus cringed his face turning paler than it already was if that was even possible.

Hermione said, ”Well, I don't mean to be so crude, but yes.”

Maria said, ”I am my husband Joseph’s second wife, we married after Elaina’s mother became... A wolf. Severus, I know you don't like to talk about this, but we must if this woman is to help you we must speak of the facts. The fact is Sarah did turn into a wolf, and was not able to turn back into a human. Elaina did not, but if no cure is found Leah will as well.”

Severus snarled, ”Stop! Stop talking to me as if I do not know what we are up against! I of all people know this better than anyone. I know that it is my fault she is magical and therefore inherited the curse.”

Leah looked up at Hermione, her dark eyes filled with tears and she said, “They always argue like this... Please make them stop.”

The two other adults continued to snark back and forth at each other, acting as if they were two feral dogs fighting over a hunk of meat. She heard the old woman snap, ”Well you should be a parent! She barely even knows you, and you hardly even know her!”

Severus said, ”I promised her mother I would do anything to find a cure. Unlike you and everyone else Elaina understood what it looks like, to lose yourself like that.”

Then the old woman slapped Snape across the face, the crack echoing around the room like thunder. 

Hermione shouted, ”For the love of Merlin! Will you both stop acting like children more than the child is? Can't either of you see how much you're upsetting her?” She thought about how her own children must feel when she and Ron argued, well argue once in a while they still do. How much it must hurt her own children to watch their parents scream at each other like more beast than humans. 

Severus said, ”Leah, grandma and I sometimes don't always get along, but I promise you it has nothing to do with you.”

The little girl mumbled, ”I know... But I don't like when you scream at each other.”

He said to her, ”You know we only both talk like that because of how much we care for you, right?”

She said, ”Yes.” Then he picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

**************************

Hermione knew she had to help Snape the moment she had watched the small child transform into a black dog. The flat-coated retriever reminded her quite a bit of Sirius, though that mostly had to do with her intelligent though still childlike eyes. Laura leaned into the smaller dog, Snape reached out for both of them, and whispered, ”I will figure out a way to stop this from happening, sweetheart. I promise.”

Within minutes the dog was once again a child, and for her, it seemed to be all forgotten. Just as sure Hermione was sure of the fact it would be for her own daughter if she were cursed with something like this. Children, were rather remarkable when it came to their ability to adapt to things, far better than their adult counterparts. 

Maybe that was the reason Hermione, and the children around her at Hogwarts, all those years ago had been willing to fight in a war that most of the adults couldn't be bothered to. Taking on monsters was all Harry, Ron, and Hermione herself had ever known. They children were taking on adults as if in any normal world they had not any chance of winning, and yet they did win. They beat back trained killers, but they also had the help of people like Severus, Remus and as much looking back she disliked him, Albus himself.

Albus Dumbledore was to Hermione, not the hero that the wizarding seemed to still hold him up as. Looking back with the eyes of an adult, but mostly that of a mother, she would not let the man within a hundred feet of her children. Children were not meant to fight wars of adults, children like Collin should have bled out on the floors of Hogwarts. Lavender’s throat should not of been ripped out by Greyback.

On the same token, Draco Malfoy should not have been sent to kill a professor. Harry should not have had the weight of a whole society on his shoulders. But, the truth was her anger was in a lot of ways illogical, it was done and over. The war had finished, and neither her children nor Snape’s daughter would have to fight in it. Because they had. Because they had bled, died, murdered and suffered, so the next generation would not have to.

Rose and Hugo would never see a Thestral if Hermione had anything to say about it. But, that was also why she was going to stay here and try to help Severus. 

She stared at the man who sat in front of her in his wrinkled black button-down shirt, his hair tucked behind his ears, his nose was not as large as it had seemed when she was a child, it was not small by any means, but it was no more as strange as anyone else’s nose. Though she did have to admit it clearly had been broken many times, but that was not his fault. That was the fault of the people who felt the need to repeatedly break it.

Leah was curled into his side, sleeping the change and then the change back seemingly had tired her out. Her black hair is like a shield around her. The father and daughter had already been through so much. Leah would never get to know her mother. She in a way was like Harry and Neville, she would only know her mother through the stories others told. Just as likely Elaina had only known her mother through the stories others told about her.

If they did nothing, let magic do as it pleased, Leah’s future children would experience her pain like many generations before her. They would slowly see their mother turn into a beast regularly, to only one day not be able to transform back. To lose what made her human or at least the ability to show what was inside and to let anyone who did not know her secret, that she had once been just as human as they were.

Hermione was going to do her very best to make sure that did not happen. To save Leah from her family’s fate. She deserved a real chance at a future. 

Severus muttered, ”Hermione, I can hear your rambling thoughts from here.”

She said, ”Sorry, I am just thinking about everything.”

He said, ”Everything is quite a bit too much to think about.”

”By everything, I mean the war and how children should not have been fighting in it. How I would never let my children do such a thing. About Leah and how she should not bear the cross that she is. How her children should not grow up motherless.”

”We can change her fate, Hermione. We can't change our fates that have since passed. But, we can change hers.”

”I was also thinking about the fact that neither side really won.”

Severus said, ”No one wins in war, not anyone. I learned that long ago when I was younger than you are now.”

”I am not actually that young.”

He rolled his eyes and said, ”I am twenty years your senior, Granger.”

Hermione laughed, ”Actually...You are nineteen years my senior. I was born in September of 1979.”

”That changes rather little, Granger...Hermione.”

”Just pointing out the fact is all, Severus.”

”Do you know why no one wins in war, Hermione? Because of the fact of how the people in power view themselves as lions and the rest of us as sheep, the truth is lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep. 

But, the truth is as much as we all don't want to admit to ourselves to Albus Dumbledore and Tom Riddle Jr we were just sheep, no matter how powerful or weak as we were, we were still nothing but sheep. We were all just lambs ready to be slaughtered and to slaughter, and slaughter we did.”

Hermione said, ”I agree with you to a point, Severus.”

”So, are we going to continue to talk about the past like it matters, or are you going to answer the question that actually matters?”

”I will stay Severus, I will help you work on the potion. Not for you, but for Leah. If she was my daughter I would hope that someone would help me.”

Severus said, ”If we can figure something out, to save her I will forever be in your debt, Granger. And if not I will be able to know in heart we have tried everything. Then I will look for a way to join her, so at least she will not be alone, like her grandmother was.”

”You really love her, don't you?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, ”Wouldn’t you feel the same if it was your child?”

”Of course I would, but...”

Severus laughed harshly, ”Because I am a Slytherin, correct? Narcissa Malfoy would have given me anything to save her son. Merope died for Tom Riddle bringing him into the world. The reason why most death eaters stuck it out during the war? Because that monster threatened their children. He knew that was what mattered most to them. 

My own mother was a Slytherin; she wasn't the best of mothers, but she did do all that she could to protect me. There is nothing stronger than a Slytherin parent, we are like vipers, and will protect our young. Leah is my whole world, Hermione and I would die or kill to save Leah without a single thought about it. Just as you would do for your own children. I am a parent just like you. 

Do not judge a situation that you do not truly understand if I could have Leah with me always, I would. Now, we can get started on the potion tomorrow, let me put my daughter to bed and then we should be going.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. More Than Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late again I can barely tell what day it is most days. And I am coming down with a cold or something, enjoy though

Hermione watched as Severus chopped the rosemary with the skill of someone who had done it all of his life. His black eyes were shut, and he seemed in a slight trans of sorts. Laura chewed on a bone in the corner. 

“Do you need my help?” Hermione asked him, brushing her fingers over his arm closest to her. 

“No, Hermione,” He said softly. “At least not yet. But don’t worry, I will need it soon.”

“What is the goal of this potion, Severus?” She questioned him. “What is the bare-bones idea of it? What is your hope you haven’t told me that.”

He set the knife aside and leaned against the counter. “The goal, Hermione, is to block her magic permanently. She will be a squib if all of this works, but she will live.”

“But she’s magical, and she has a right to have her magic!” Shouted, Hermione horrified at the very idea of such a thing. “I don’t know if I can help you with this Severus, stopping the transformations is one thing— this is a different story.”

Severus’s fist banged on the wooden table; the sound caused Hermione to jump out of fear and shock. He snarled, “This is the only way Granger, the only way. Do think I joined the death eaters when I was a teenager because I loved muggles? Do you think it was because I did not believe magic was the most beautiful thing that existed?

You know the truth, Hermione, you know with every single fibre of myself—I love my magic. Even as my father beat me for my magic, I did not wish it for it to be gone. It is the only thing I liked about myself growing up. But Elaina taught me something important— magic is not the most important thing about a person. I would rather have a living child who will grow old and be happy. Who will not lose herself to transformations? 

I do not care what you think about my choice Hermione Jean Granger, you and my former mother in law don’t seem to get this—she first and foremost is my child, and this is my choice to make.”

Hermione sighed, “I will still help you, Severus, but we still should research other options as well.”

“There are no other choices, but I also will continue to look into other alternatives.”

“Thank you, Severus.”

*************************

Hermione poured herself a cup of tea and held it tightly, trying desperately to ease the ache in her hands. It was nearly nine pm at night now, and they had finally given up on the potions less than a half-hour ago. She hated to admit it—Severus was right. Leah’s transformations we're tied tightly to her magical core; she could not have one without the other. They existed in the same magic, in the same bit that made her a witch made her a maleditus. 

Whoever put this curse on Elaina’s mother could rot in hell, thought Hermione, they could rot in hell for all Hermione cared. And she did care rather much. That could be Rose or any number of the Weasley grandchildren or anyone else for that matter. Leah was just a bloody child—even her grandmother had been a monster, worst than Voldemort himself, this child should not pay for the sins of her grandmother.

And yet she was. So was Severus, though. She did not have to ask him—as a fellow parent, she understood it with every single part of her very soul, Severus would happily bear the curse if he could. Hermione saw him sitting there in his chair, streaks of grey in his long black hair. Glass of fire whiskey in his hand. Sleep nearly overtaking him; he was just barely hanging on to stay awake. His eyelids just barely even open. Laura slept at his feet, guarding her master with ever so haunting brown eyes. 

Hermione walked over to him and rested a hand softly on his shoulder, ”Severus, I think it's time you head to bed.”

”I am not a child, ” he snapped his tone harsh; he was unable to hide the weariness from his grab at her. This was the angry snarling beast of a man she remembered. This was the Severus who had taught her all those years ago. Though he did lack some of the harshness, he once had. He added, “I have been taken care of myself longer than you have been alive.”

”As it may be, Severus.” Hermione said her tone firm and slightly motherly. ”I have raised my children and been married I know a tired man when I see one, now off to bed with you, I am sure you have tons planned for us tomorrow, and I too would like to get some sleep.”

”Join me?” He asked her more of a question. It seemed more of one to even himself. ”The bed is large, and I will not touch you, I promise.”

Lack of sleep must be causing this, she thought; it was insanity that was causing this. And yet she said to him, ”If it will make you go to bed, I will.”

He nodded, and together, the two went to bed a German Shepherd on their heels. As if she was the parent of sorts, making sure that they were not going to get up to any trouble—not that either she or Severus had an interest in any kind of us such trouble. But it would be nice to sleep in a real bed again. And she would bet anything Severus was comfortable.

When she finally laid down on it next to the man, she let out a soft sigh; indeed, the bed was somewhat comfortable. Hermione faced the slightly prickly man’s back—realising the last time she had shared a bed with anyone, it had been Ronald Weasley when they were still married. How different this bed companion was to Ron, she could not decide for the better or worse. 

Hermione shut her eyes and let sleep overtake her. 

******************************

Hermione woke up with Severus’s arm wrapped around her waist. It felt heavy, warm, and comfortable. It felt safe. Why in the world did she feel safe with his arm around her? He smelled of potions, the steam, and the herbs—it was a safe smell—a comfortable smell. 

The light streamed through the half-open curtains, Severus groaned in his sleep and yanked swiftly away from Hermione—as if her skin burned him. He muttered, still half asleep, ”I didn't mean to do that, and why are you in my bed?”

”You invited me.” Said Hermione as she tried to wake herself up thoroughly as well. ”Give me a minute, and I can go make breakfast since you made it yesterday.”

Hermione swung her legs over the side of the bed, regretting it as soon as her feet hit the cold floor. ”Merlin, is it just me, or is it cold?”

Severus mumbled something she could not hear and then started to get up himself. ”Make breakfast quick. We have to get to work.”

Gone was the man who made her feel safe and in his place was the Snape she remembered all too well, the Severus of all work and no play. But, he had a reason for that, didn't he? As much as she didn’t want to admit. Hermione had no feelings for Severus, none—not any. 

She pulled on her dressing gown and tried to run a hand through her wild curls. It got stuck, she needed to shower or tie it up, or possibly both. Hermione went out to find something that was at least semi-edible. Tea was easy, as were eggs, bacon, and toast. 

Laura was fed and taken out by Severus in the home that Hermione cooked. He seemed hungover in a sense, but more out of it than anything. When breakfast was finished, she sat it in front of him, where he sat at the elevator. She said to him, ”Dig in.”

Severus started to fumble around for where silverware was, and Hermione said, ”You could just ask me, Severus.”

He snapped at her, ”And I can find it myself.”

”You're not doing an excellent job of it.”

”Granger, you know it's rather horrible to be cruel to disabled people?” He laughed. ”Though you are a Gryffindor after all.”

Hermione stabbed her own piece of egg, ”Is it such a bad thing when the person was cruel themselves?”

Severus took a sip of his tea and coughed, ”True.”

The rest of the breakfast, they were quiet beyond silverware, the clink of on the plates and mugs being picked up and set back down. Hermione asked Severus, ”Why do you need me to help you, considering that you didn't ask me to do much yesterday. It seems as if you could do it yourself.”

He sighed loudly and then spoke, ”I need someone who knows potions, I need someone with working vision, I need someone who can tell me precisely what colour it is which you can, but also the reason why I wanted your help is because I knew you would be sent. And the person to finish it has to be a muggleborn. 

You're the only one I know with decent potions skills who likely wouldn't kill me on the spot. But also I would like to one day return to England there are more systems for squibs post-war than there are in the country than here. Here they don't want them living within the magical world once they are grown. You work for the ministry and could help with getting us back.”

”What about that meltdown that first night?” Hermione questioned him, finding this all quite strange, as if he was keeping something from her. ”Anything else I should know?”

”I was drunk, Granger; I apologise for my behaviour. And I did fear you were not going to listen—and that we're going to leave her behind, my daughter to her fate.”

”So you decided to push me to take you in? Severus, I don't like being manipulated. I want the full truth, after we finish this potion. All of it.”

”Sure, sure.”

Hermione snarled, ”All of it, Severus, did you hear me? All of it.”

He drawled, ”Of course, Ms. Granger” and smiled.

” You're an utter bastard; you know that Snape?” laughed Hermione.

He snarled back, ”Takes one to know one, Hermione.”

”True, ” She laughed, taking a sip of her nearly empty mug of tea. A smile on her face as she added, ”But, I could say the same about you, Severus.” They were two war heroes that neither wanted to be considered one; they were relics of the past trying to make it in a world that seemed to wish they would sit on the sideline. But they still had a place in it—even if sometimes didn't feel like that.

Hermione sometimes wondered if the ministry tolerated her because she was a member of the golden trio—none of her big dreams from her teenage years ever happened. House-elves were given no more freedom than before the war, let alone being released from their bondage. Werewolves were still outcasts in society—though she did get legislation past, that meant they were all entitled wolfsbane potion for free. The squib bill which Severus had mentioned was actually of all people’s work, not that she felt the need to tell the man such a thing was Harry’s work. 

As much as the former bulldozer wished she could force society to be better, Hermione could not. The world did not work that way. She could not force the wizarding world to bend to her will any more than Severus or anyone for that matter could bring the people they loved back from the dead.

”Hermione, ” Severus said softly. ”We should get to work. The potion has simmered long enough.”

“Sorry, let’s just put the dishes in the sink first.”

He nodded.

***************************

Hermione stared at the potion waiting for it to go from pale blue to lavender. Severus stood next to her body tense. “I hate this.” Muttered Severus.

”What do you hate?” Asked Hermione. 

”Relying on another.” Severus said softly. ”Not being able to do what is necessary myself.”

”I am sorry, ” said Hermione, she indeed was sorry but about it—surely it was hard for someone like Severus. To lose so much of the control of his life and a skill that meant so much to him.

”I don't need your pity!” Severus snapped, his face turning pinched and harsh. “I don’t want your pity, Hermione.”

She reached out for him as soon as her fingers brushed against his arm—he pulled away harshly. Hermione said, ”Severus...”

”Just keep your eye on the potion, ” he snapped at her.

Hermione sighed loudly and did what he asked. A few minutes later, the potion turned the right color, ”It’s ready, Severus.”

He added the next ingredient and left the potion to simmer. He then started to pull on his boots and cloak, “I am going to see Leah you can come or you don’t have to.”

Hermione said, “I will go with you, but I also need to send a message to Ron let him know I am going to be back in I don’t even know...”

************************

Hermione fire called Ron through the international floo. She sat back on her knees and sighed. 

”Hello, Hermione.”

”Hey.” Said Hermione,” Ron, how are the kids doing?”

”Good happy—Pansy took them to the park, and we went to Sunday dinner. They miss you, though any idea of when you're going to be back?”

”I honestly don't even know Ron.” Hermione sighed, ”I got caught up in something...”

He finished her sentence, ”That you can't tell me about. Remember Mione I use to work for the ministry I get it doesn't mean I like it, but I get it. I will let the kids and Harry know. Be careful, Hermione; the kids need their mum. Snape is dangerous, and a liar never forget that. I don't care what Harry says he's not a good person.”

”Ron...”

Ron snarled, ”You found him, didn't you? And you too think he's some sort of Saint, don't you? Hermione remember what he did. He's supposed of been dead! Nothing he says or does is right. Remember how he treated us in school? Am I the only one who bloody does? What he did to my brother? How he treated Harry? Neville? The fact he was obsessed with Harry’s mum? I think you should forget whatever bloody fucking hell he's asking you and get back here, to your kids and you're actual job.”

”Ronald Weasley!” She snarled. ”You have no bloody right to tell me what I can and cannot do! I am no longer your wife, and that was not my choice on the matter. Why don't you go tell Pansy, your wife, what to do because I no longer have to listen to you, Ronald! See you when I get home, or if it seems like it's going to be longer, I will fire call you again.”

Hermione grabbed the closest thing to her, which happened to be a notebook and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a loud thump. She stomped over retrieved it and walked straight out of the room. She slammed into Severus without meaning to. 

”Sorry, Severus, ” said Hermione. ”My ex-husband is an arse.”

”He's a Weasley, ” deadpanned Severus. ”What did you expect?”

Hermione laughed, ”That’s rich coming from you. Let's get out of here.”

He nodded. 

**************************

Hermione watched as Laura chased Leah in the grassy field. Both wore bells, which she found slightly funny, but useful. Severus sat on a bench, smoking a cigarette. 

”Why aren't you raising Leah, Severus?” Asked Hermione, ”You seem to be great with her. As much as it is odd to admit it.”

”I taught you brats over half my life, why wouldn't I be good at it?” He asked rather bluntly, though he seemed not to expect an answer.

”I didn't mean to suggest...”

He put out his cigarette with the toe of his boot. ”Yes—you did—Hermione. I am no fool. I wasn't the best or kindest of teachers. But I never wanted to be a teacher. I loathed the job, the school, and even at times the people who surrounded me. And I had a bad habit of taking that out on my students. Though my Gryffindor students. 

I would have claimed it was for your safety. It may have been at one point in time—I ended growing to enjoy though I hate to admit that. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but at the time, I did not care. I had a job to do, and that had next to nothing to do with teaching children potions. Leah is the best part of me. She's going to be a far better person than I ever will be. She's somewhat like her mother in that way. Leah is a good kid. I just hope if we go back to England, people can look beyond what I have done and view her for she is—beyond her being my child.”

“You love quite a bit, don’t you?” Asked Hermione, having already known the answer.

“Ms. Granger didn’t Hogwarts teach you—didn’t I teach you not to ask silly questions?” He asked her. “More so if you already know the answer. You are a parent; I am sure you feel the same way about your own children. My own child will never see herself as a burden, as something that’s getting in the way. She will never see herself as a mistake.”

“Of course, I feel the same.” She said. “You never answered my question, though. Why are her grandparents raising her?”

“Because, Hermione Jean Granger, the best thing at the moment I can do for my daughter, is save her from her fate,” Severus said softly. “And that means I must devote my time to the potion—not raising her. As much as I wish I could do just that. Same as Harry had to be raised those stupid muggles. It was for the best. Even if looking back, it seemed rather cruel.”

Hermione leaned into his side and rested her head on his shoulder, and she whispered, “Severus, I think you are a far better person than you see yourself as, no matter what you say.”

“Hermione.”

“For once in your life, Severus, do what you were always trying to teach me to do and shut it.” Then Hermione kissed him, and he kissed her back. She realized at that moment she, while not looking had fallen in love with Severus Tobias Snape.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, Hermione.” He whispered softly so only she may hear, and not the child that was still playing.

“Severus for once in your life—forget what you should and shouldn’t do—and just live.” Said Hermione. ”It doesn't matter what others think, only the here and now. And all I want is to help Leah and you. Ron cheated on me. With Pansy. They are happy now, really bloody happy. I use to hate them for that, but you know what? Now I understand why they did it. The only one who has to live with the choices—is you and your children. Not witch weekly, not the daily prophet and not the rest of the wizarding world.

I don't care who you once were to me, Severus, or about the lies you told to get me here or what you did. All I want is you if you will have me.”

” You're just rebounding off your ex-husband, Hermione.” He said to her. ”That is not the way to start a relationship.”

She took his hand in hers and said, ”This doesn't have to last a lifetime Severus, no relationship does. We both lost someone who meant a great deal to us in slightly different ways. You cannot tell me this doesn't feel right.”

Severus kissed her again, his slightly large nose bumping into hers—he had misjudged the distance. ”You are right, Hermione, though you have been right in a great many things in your life, though this is the first I am willing to admit. So please, for the love of Merlin, don't let it go to your head.”

”I don't know if I can keep that promise, Severus.”

”And I can accept that, Hermione.”

Leah ran up to them with Laura at her heels. She cried out, ”Dad, I’m hungry!”

He said, ”Well, its just about dinner time, so we should be getting home anyway, no need to worry your gran. I happen to like having all of my limbs and my ears, so let's get you back home.”

”Dad! Why can't I stay with you, Ms. Hermione can!”

”Leah.” Severus sighed, sounding just as Hermione regularly did with her own children. ”You know why sweetheart, once I finish this potion as I have promised you, you will be able to live with me again. We might even if I can work things out—move to England or Scotland where I am from. It's nearly done, it might also be ready soon.”

”You always say that.” Leah stomped her foot and then jumped in the air. ”You promised me last time! And then it didn't happen.”

Hermione knew the signs quite well. A temper tantrum was coming on. No matter how well behaved a child might seem at first—they all had them. It was part of being a child. She did not doubt that even Severus had them when he was a child, and Hermione herself surely did, though not usually about the everyday things. Often, it was about books, not being able to read one, not being able to stay up later to read one, or not getting the one she wanted. But they were still the same as how Leah was behaving now.

”Leah, Theodora Snape!” Severus snapped harshly. ”You will not behave in such a way in from of Ms. Granger or in general. You are far better than such actions. I have raised you better!”

The child gave her father a dirty look and snarled quite a bit like Severus in his memories that he had given Harry—down to the expression. Her dark eyes wide and filled with anger and possibly even a touch of hatred, ”Grandma said you hadn't raised me at all! She and grandpa have. You're too busy mourning mum and that stupid mudblood Lily or whatever her name is!”

Severus somehow managed to reach his child and grabbed her arm in a rather tight grip. ”I do not care, Leah, that your grandmother uses that word! You will not do such a thing. No one is that word! You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself!” His black eyes narrowed at her sharply. ”Now apologise to Ms Hermione, or you might find out what soap tastes like. After all she's done to help you. You might find out if you do not—that she no longer wants to, and she would have every not to after you using that word.”

The child cried, ”I didn't call her it!”

”You shouldn't call anyone it! How many times must I tell you that?” Severus snarled. ”How many times, Leah?”

Leah finally turned to Hermione, her face pale blotchy with tears in her eyes, ”I am sorry, Ms. Hermione. Father said to me that's a bad word. It's an evil word. It's why people have hurt other people, even if my gran uses it.”

”I accept your apology, Leah.” Hermione said, trying not to show any of her displeasure; Severus had done enough of that. There was no need to tack on anymore. ”I will also continue to help your father with the potion. But he is right about that word, only bad people and those who don't care to know better or do not know better use it. It's a mean old word that nasty pureblood's use to hurt people.”

Leah nodded, ”I am really, really sorry, Ms. Hermione.”

Severus harnessed back up, Laura, and said, ”Now, let’s get you home for dinner.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Power in Blood

Hermione hadn't heard that horrible word in what felt like a lifetime; it was a rather unsettling feeling to hear it from the mouth of a child as an adult. She understood why Leah had used it—children did not learn such things out of thin air. They either learned it from other children or—like in the case of Leah—from a caregiver. Maybe in America not having dealt with Voldemort and his reign of terror, it had yet to gain the same taboo it had in England, at least in wizarding families.

Hermione could not understand how someone who happily accepted a squib child. She was able to use such language around said child’s daughter, but it might be her own experience talking on. It was another country, after all, with its personal history and, therefore, knowledge. America may have once been a colony of England, but it surely was not England.

No one here seemed to blink an eye—at least from her experience at Severus’s dark mark. There was no rioting in the streets about him doing anything. No people were insisting he be held accountable for his crimes or lack thereof during the war, which was in all likelihood why when he decided to fake his own death, why he had come to such a country. Nothing that Severus Snape did was without thought—a plan and reasoning. The man was like an expert chess player, always a few moves ahead of everyone else.

Hermione wondered under the flow of the shower for a split second if she too was being played by him. Ensnared in a trap, he and Merlin knew who else had set for her. As it stood, she was Hermione Granger. She would see this through—no matter what sort of game, the chess master of lies was playing. He was not unlike Albus Dumbledore or even Voldemort himself in that aspect; everything had a reason—even if the others on the board did not understand precisely what was going on. 

She rinsed the conditioner from her hair, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a fluffy towel around herself. Hermione dressed quickly and tried to brush her curls before they dried into a rat’s nest of snarls. Once she walked out back into the living room, she found him sitting there reading, with his fingers not his eyes. Braille, she believed it was called. It was a rather odd sight to see. Severus sitting there in his sleep clothes reading a rather large book with neither handwriting or actual text on it—just raised dots.

They could be anything, Hermione thought, and she was not one who did not like to know things. It could be the Bible or some sort of strange tomb on the darkest of magic. And she would be none the wiser. But, it suited him quite well. Severus had never been one to show his hand on anything. Whether or not it helped or hurt, you mattered rather little to him—only the end goal. 

In all of Hermione's life, even working for the ministry, she had never met someone else like him. Someone else who was so single-minded in their goals. Her inquisitive nature found it quite attractive—though she never would admit such a thing to anyone. Surely not him. If she did, he would likely laugh in her face. 

”Severus.” She said, breaking the silence in the room as much as Hermione did not want to. Laura slept on her bed soundly, likely having been taken care of for the night during Hermione’s shower. ”What are you reading?”

”Nothing important, Hermione.” He said and then shut the book. ”Just a muggle novel of all things.”

”I never pictured you to be someone to read a muggle novel, Sev.” The nickname slipped from her lips without much thought in the matter. 

His pale cheeks turned a light shade of pink. ”I use to read them quite a bit growing up. I set them aside during that foolish time, I believed them to be useless and then did not pick them up during the war. I was far too busy trying to stop my students from blowing up the lab, and then dealing with the second war to take the time for such frivolous things. 

I have the time now, though, and it is not as if I can get Braille books in magical subjects—far too few blind wizards to make that happen. I read books on subjects muggles should not see with magic, but I miss the practice of actually reading and the joy it brought me, so I must settle for muggle books. Though many good ones have come out during the time, I ignored them. This one is by Stephen King.”

”Aren’t his books rather dark in nature?” Hermione asked, vaguely remembered her father blowing a gasket when she dared to try and read one of his own copies of such a book.

”They are horror books, and so are the movies that have been adapted from them.” 

”Why would you...”

Severus finished her sentence for her, ”Want to read such dark things after the war and all I have seen? After my nightmares? Which I am assuming everyone who endured it has? Because it's fiction, unlike my own dreams, I can set it aside if it becomes too much. Books and their words, I can control how much or how little I take in. Memories are not like that. 

The past haunts us in ways books do not. My mind has always been a rather dark place long before the war—my childhood might be such the cause of it, or it could only be I have always been dark. My mother use to save her pennies to be able to see horror movies when I was a child. While others even me at such a time, we're quite scared she seemed content to watch the spectacle, one that she at least had some control over.”

”That's where your name came from Severus?” Hermione asked. ”The name you use here in America? It's a play on your favourite author's name Stephen Keene sounds slightly like Steven King.”

” You're the first to catch that Hermione.” He laughed. ”They didn't call you the brightest witch of your age for nothing, did they? Beyond all the other reasons, of course.”

Hermione sat down next to Severus on the couch. Her hand rested on his thigh. She did not know where she had gotten the courage from. It might be how long she had been divorced, and though she hated to admit—desperately lonely, but it seemed so was Severus. 

He sighed and rested his long fingers over hers. They were cool to the touch though comforting in a way. It sent butterflies in her belly. She turned to face him and kissed him. His lips tasted of the dark chocolate bar he had been forced on him by Leah’s grandmother—something about he was far too thin.

His hands knotted into her curls, and he pulled her into his lap. Hermione pulled away to catch her breath. Severus asked her, ”How far do you want to go?” She could feel his hardness against her core—through their sleep clothes. 

She said breathlessly, ”As far as you want to...I want you Severus Snape in every single way I can have you.”

He did not answer but pulled her back into another kiss, as he worked on getting her sleep top off. His lips worked down her neck to her nipple, sucking on it. A hand worked its way in her pants, touching her clit. His mouth left her nipple and went to her ear. He whispered, ”We should finish this in my bed; we both will be far more comfortable there.”

Hermione nodded, unable to speak for a second, and then she remembered he could not see it, so she whispered, ”Yes, yes, we should.”

They untangled themselves from each other on the couch, and she followed him to the bedroom. They both undressed quickly—as if they were trying to race one another—or their own lust. There were no whispers of love and devotion. Hermione was no fool to believe he did not still mourn the loss of his dead wife, even though she had fallen in love with him, she hoped one day that love could be fully returned. Severus cared about Hermione; he might yet return her feelings of love. 

Now though, was about need—not love. Love could be for later. They had a lifetime for love, with how long wizards and witches lived.

Severus’s pale, long-fingered hand found her hip, and he pulled her close. With bending on his part and rising to her toes, their lips met. He led them to the bed. The back of her knees hitting the softness and comfort of it. His body over hers. His talented fingers found the way inside her—causing her to arc into him. She knew from a warm fiery feeling in her belly that she might not last long.

She noticed then that she was whining against her will, and he was breathing rather heavy. As if his constant control—was starting to crack. It thrilled Hermione that she was the one doing this to him, that she was the one making as cold as stone, as rigid as steel Severus Snape feel something—even it was merely lust. 

Hermione cried out, “Stop!”

And with that, he froze as if someone had dumped a bucket of icy water on his head. 

Back was the tight buttoned up tone to his voice, not unlike his old robes, ”Hermione—we don't have to continue this if you have changed your mind.”

Hermione let out a giggle, and Severus grumbled.

”Sev, I want you inside of me, you silly fool—not to stop.”

His lips met hers; then he pulled away and whispered in her ear, ”What am I going to do with you, Hermione, huh? Is your goal to drive me utterly insane because that is what it feels like at this moment.”

”Takes one to know one, Severus, ” said Hermione. ”I need you git.”

”That is not the way to talk to someone if you want something from Hermione.”

And then he lined himself up and entered her. He felt so good, filling her in a way she had desired for what seemed like a lifetime. She wrapped a leg around his waist. He stayed still as if he was made of the pale marble his skin reminded her of. He started to move taking her—but also rubbing in between them, making sure every single of it also brought her pleasure. 

It could have been minutes that passed, maybe even hours, they were lost in a dance of pleasure. Hermione was close; she could feel it in her very bones. Severus pressed hard against her clit, dragging her climax out his before his own. She came with a cry, which might have been more of a scream. Severus pulled out, came on her belly, and then laid down next to her. 

Hermione curled into him, then kissed him on the cheek. “Sev.” She ran her hand through his inky black hair. It was soft, thin, but not at all greasy after his own shower. Severus reached for her shirt, then wiped her belly clean with it, and then chucked it on the floor. Then he got under the covers and turned away from her. Hermione wrapped her arm around his waist and snuggled into him. They let sleep overtake both of them.

*****************************

Hermione woke up to the sound of a dog whining. She grumbled, ”Severus wake up; your dog is calling you.” She did not know what time was—nor did she care. Hermione pulled the blankets higher. Again the whining and this time, the dog is scratching at the door.

”Bloody hell, ” said Severus he swung his long legs over the side of the bed and started to pull on clothes. Hermione watched him. He was rather thin, all sharp angles. Small scars were crisscrossed his back. They clearly had been on his skin for decades, pale shiny white instead of red—so unlike the scars that marred his throat and extended down his chest. Severus tied his hair back and then stumbled out of the bedroom.

Hermione stretched, realized she should just give up, and get dressed. Her hair was knotted and tangled. She nearly pulled on her clothing and then twisted her hair up into a bun. Severus was feeding Laura and did not say anything to her about last night. As if he was pretending, it did not happen. There was an awkward feeling in the air that made her not want to speak.

Severus went to the stove and put on the kettle. ”Would you like a cup as well, Hermione?”

”Yes,” she said, ”I would like one.”

”The potion should be finished today; then, you can return to England.” Severus muttered with a monotone nature to his voice. ”If it works, then Leah and I will follow.”

”Are we not going to talk about last night?” Asked Hermione, ”Or are we going to pretend it didn't happen?”

Severus sighed and gripped the counter behind him. ”What would you prefer?”

”Why must you answer my question with a question, Severus?” 

”Must you be so utterly infuriating?” Hermione snapped as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

”Says the insufferable know it all,” Severus snarled. ”Is it some sort of specialized talent you possess?”

”That’s rich, Severus coming from you!” She said. 

And then as unexpected as it could be, he kissed her, tongue shoving into her mouth—as if he was using it to shut her up. The kettle whistle blew; it caused Severus to pull away from her. He whispered, ”Takes one to know one, Hermione. When we have finished the potion, we can talk about whatever this is.”

Severus knew in his heart and soul; there would be no more of this once the potion was finished.

***************************

Hermione watched the potion just as she had done yesterday—she felt as if she was a sort of guide dog for potions. It made her want to roll her eyes at that, Hermione thought to herself anyone else could do this, why in the world was she needed? Something was fishy about this... She just knew it. Should she say something, thought Hermione, was it even worth it? Would it change anything? This man was Severus Snape if he genuinely wanted whatever it was he wanted—could she stop him?

He towered over her by at least a foot; he had created his own spells as a teenager. He was the epitome of danger, and it had little to do with being a former death eater. But, Severus was also a father—he was doing this for his daughter Leah. And Hermione herself was a mother; she understood the need to protect her children, to keep them safe. She would do anything for them—Gryffindor morals be damned, and Hermione would bet anything Severus felt similar.

”It's done, I believe, Severus,” said Hermione. She reached for her wand to shut off the flame, but Severus snatched her wrist in an ironclad grip. It felt like a vice had tightened down on her limb. Within seconds he had a silver dagger pressed up against her skin—a bit like Bellatrix Lestrange had done so long ago. Was Severus going to mar one of her arms with scars, at least this wouldn't say mudblood. Or was his goal to kill her?

Has all they done been a lie? Was it all a lie? Was it he who had taught his daughter the word mudblood? Was Ron, right? She should have handcuffed the bastard and dragged into the ministry. American laws be damned. Him not being in the belly of that snake meant he was a fugitive. The killer of Albus Dumbledore held her arm over the cauldron and cut along a line down her pale skin. He had taken so long, hesitating almost, and she was familiar with the bite of the blade, yet Hermione still could not hold back her howl of pain.

Blood magic—dark magic is what the potion was. 

She shouted at him as her fists slammed into his chest, ”Why didn't you tell me, Severus Snape? Didn't I have a right to know what I was helping you create? Do I mean nothing to you? Was last night all just a bloody lie? Do I mean anything to you?”

Severus held her fists in his hands, preventing another attack of them. His black eyes were troubled with suffering and pain. He was a madman, a broken madman but crazy all the same. ”It required your blood, Hermione, to be taken by force. It's the only way to save her. The only way to save her and her magic.”

”Her magic!” She shouted. ”You lead me to believe you were making her a squib!”

”I knew you wouldn't understand!” Severus shouted, venom-filled his tone. ”Why would Saint Granger the know-it-all of Gryffindor understands? What it's like to lose someone?”

”There had to be another way, Severus, using dark magic on a child?” 

”Magic is magic, as long as does what you need it to do! I keep my promises, Ms. Granger, that is the one thing you can say about me. I keep my promises. I promised Elaina I would save her, and no matter what happens, I know that.”

Hermione yanked her wrists from his grasp, and she started to cry. ”Was any of it real, Severus? Any of it?”

Severus, too, was crying silently, though he likely did not realise it. “It's complicated. I didn't plan to feel anything for you. I didn't think I was capable of loving another after all that had happened. But I do, Hermione, I love you with every single fiber of myself. I am sorry, I am sorry I didn't want to lie to you. 

I had to—for my daughter. For her life, for her magic, for her humanity. I couldn't let her end up like Nagini or her grandmother. I couldn't, Hermione! There is no other potion or spell. I have tried to find something else for years and nothing. Not a damn thing. 

It needed to be a Muggleborn witch and someone truly powerful. Draco knew I needed your help, so he gave you that file. He understood how important this was. Forgive me, please, Hermione. If it were your child, you would do the same. I know you would.”

Hermione threw her arms around him and then whispered, ”Severus, I believe you, and that may be true, but I do not know if I can ever trust you again. If I ever will be able to. Don't write to me. Don't go looking for me. Come back to England or don't. If and when I am ready, I will write or seek you out myself.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Epilogue Forgiveness is Earned

Hermione stood with Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Pansy at King's Cross Station. Today Rose and Al were going to Hogwarts for the first time. She had heard whispers that Severus and Leah were back in England. That did not change the fact that it still was soul-crushing to see the man out of the corner of her eye. 

Severus stood at a distance, Laura laying at his side though Hermione would swear that the dog was staring at her. He no longer wore the muggle clothes he had favoured in America, but he also did not look like her former professor. She wanted to go up and speak to him, but something held her back. People might disagree with her, but the darkness of the potion was that it required a lack of consent of the donor for lack of a better term, not that it needed blood of a Muggleborn. 

But, after nearly a year, Hermione understood why he had done it—the desperation of a father who simply wanted to save his child. There was no greater love than a parent of their children, or at least it should be. Though she simply hated being set up and left in the dark. Hermione hated how he had played her. Had she been that lonely that Hermione had been desperate enough to believe whatever lies had been fed to her?

Severus Snape was the best liar in the wizarding world; he had spent all of his life lying to anyone who dared to get too close and even the dark lord himself. Who could blame her for buying such things?

Rose pointed at Severus and said, ”Mum, why is that man allowed to have a dog? I thought we were only supposed to bring a cat, an owl, or toad?”

”Sweetheart, that's Severus, Severus Snape, my former professor and once a headmaster of Hogwarts.” Hermione answered. ”He’s blind that's why he has the dog, she guides him. She's working.”

”She’s just laying there,” Rose said. ”That’s not working.”

Hermione tucked a bright red curl behind her daughter’s ear, ”She is working, sometimes some people and animals have jobs that involve sitting there and waiting. Laura is like a firefighter waiting for him to need her.”

”You know him, mum?” Asked Rose.

”I do.”

”Can you introduce me? I want to ask if I can say hi to his dog.”

”Rose... I don't know if that's a good idea, ”Hermione said. “He and Leah are telling their own goodbyes, and you need to get on the train soon.”

She was terrified of how the man might respond to her and her child. The wizarding world had been strange how they treated Severus upon his return. Some wanted him locked up—but a quiet blind man, who happened to be a single father, was considered nearly harmless to the Aurors, she disagreed with that. 

Though Hermione had no say in the matter, not that she thought he should be locked up and the key thrown away. The memories and his own interviews, along with Draco’s had been enough to convince them he had been punished enough. The wizarding world was rather Victorian in how they viewed people with disabilities as incapable of much. Part of her hoped that he could prove them wrong with doing good things.

Rose took off to the father, dog, and the other girl.

”Rose!” Hermione shouted. ”Merlin, child.” She then took off after her daughter. When she reached them, though, the sight shocked her. Severus had removed Laura’s harness, and both girls we're petting the dog. Leah and Rose chatted about the typical nonsense girls their age talked about. 

”I am sorry, Severus.” Hermione said breathlessly. “I tried to stop Rose from doing this.”

”It’s no problem, Hermione, really,” Severus mused with a small smile. ”You raised her well; most people don’t even bother to ask.”

“Mum, when I get back this summer, can we get a puppy?” Rose asked her mother. 

”Maybe sweetheart, now why don't you go introduce Leah to your cousins?”

”I thought I had to get on the train soon?” Rose narrowed her eyes. 

”You do, but I also need a few minutes with Mr. Snape. Alone,” Her mother remarked. 

”Fine.” Rose snapped, ”Leah, let me go introduce you to my cousins Al and James.” The girls took off together with the joy of being new friends; it was so easy to be a child, wasn't it? At least now without a dark lord wanting to kill you and your friends, which neither of those girls would ever have to worry about.

Hermione said, ”They seem to have become fast friends.”

”Until the house rival splits them apart.” Severus muttered. ”Which it surely will.”

”You don't know that for sure, times have changed Severus. And you don't even know what house either of them will be sorted into.”

”And Scorpius Malfoy is going to end up in Hufflepuff,” he mused, rolling his eyes.

“He could you know, Hermione laughed. “That boy is sweet, kind, and gentle. But, I swear it wasn't like it when you were in school or even when I was. Times have changed.”

”Says the woman whose first friend was Harry Potter.”

”My first friend was Neville Longbottom,” she snorted, her hand over her mouth ashamed she made such a sound. “I tried to help him find his toad on the train. Harry and Ron thought I was horrid when they first met me. Though I was a bit over the top, I do admit looking back.”

”Now what is it that you want to talk about Hermione?” Heasked, “surely it wasn't about either of our school days.”

”It wasn't Severus.” Hermione said. 

”I miss you, Hermione, I shouldn't have done it,” he said out of nowhere. “I know that. I can't say I wish I could take it back, but I wish there would have been another way.”

”I miss you too.”

”So, what does that mean for us?”

”We could start over,” Hermione remarked. “As in Severus and Hermione being entirely honest with each other and maybe try and be friends.”

”I don't think I can be your friend Hermione.” Severus muttered. 

”And why is that?”

”Because I don't see you as a friend.”

“Then what do you see me as?” She asked him, hoping he would just spit it out.

Instead of answering, he reached out with his pale hand, and it rested on her cheek. Then he leaned down and kissed her. After a second, Hermione kissed him back.

”That’s why Hermione I cannot be your friend,” When he pulled away, whispering the words so softly she could barely hear.

”We can try Severus again, but this cannot be one-sided, we both have to work to make this work.”

“What in the world is Hermione doing?” Ron asked Harry, stunned what was going on before his eyes.

”None of your business Ron, you lost your right to decide what she does or doesn’t do even if you don't agree with it.”

********************

Years later, Hermione and Severus said I do for the second time in each of their lives. They both had their scars, their issues, and problems, but for once in her life, Hermione was grateful that many years ago, Draco Malfoy told her a fib to send her on a wild goose tracking down Severus Snape. More so as she saw Leah, her stepdaughter, and her Rose daughter dressed in beautiful dresses. Albus Severus stood next to Leah and Scorpius next to Rose. 

Leah had been sorted into Ravenclaw and Rose Slytherin, defying what the world assumed they would become. Hermione reached down and scratched Laura’s ears. It was hard to think that soon the faithful dog would retire, another would take its place at Severus' side, but isn't that how life was? Everything changes, no matter how much you wish; it wouldn't. 

Leah had her magic; she had her humanity and looking back that made it worth it. Magic was magic. What you did with it was what mattered. 

They greeted their guests, but what shocked her the most was Narcissa who wrapped her thin arms around her, “thank you for saving my friend.”

Hermione said, “I didn’t Narcisssa, you did.”

“Mrs. Snape, I saved his body, Elaina saved his mind, but you Hermione Jean Snape saved his soul—with the ability to forgive and understand.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
